His Only Drug

Chapter 15

Dedicated to this_is_her

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Zach came into the view. His eyes widened, threatening to bulge out of the sockets as soon he saw me standing at the door, fuming in anger and annoyance.

"Z-Zelsa?" He stuttered.

"Yes." I gave him a death as I walked past both the boys.

I was beyond pissed. I could actually feel smoke coming out of my nostrils. I heard faint murmuring behind me as I continued to walk inside my house. My steps came to an abrupt halt when my gaze fell on the things I saw laying on the floor.

Beer bottles.

A packet of heroin.

Foil.

Lighter.

Syringe.

I snapped my head in Zach's direction and saw him standing with his head hanging low in shame. Whereas his asshole friend was busy checking me out, giving me sly grin.

Shameless dickhead.

I opened my mouth to yell at both the idiots but Zach scurried away, collecting everything from the floor and handed it to his friend. Ralph gave him a what-the-fuck look, as Zach dragged him out of the living room. I heard him say, 'don't come back' to Ralph and then heard the clicking of the door, indicating that he left. I stormed into my room, before Zach could say anything.

Why can't he be normal for once?

I plopped down my bed and played with the ends of the duvet. I was exhausted. Mentally, physically and emotionally. Today was too much. I let myself fall back on the bed while my mind drifted back into time when Ethan was still alive. I never had to worry about anything. Life was so good with him being around. Sighing, I pushed my thoughts away. I can't change the past. I can't bring him back to life. If I could, I would in a heartbeat.

There's no point in helping him. Kick him out of here! My brain chimed.

You have to handle him with a lot of patience just the way you handled Ethan. My heart spoke softly.

He's not worth your patience! Kick his ass out of here this instant!

The battle between my head and heart started again but this time my brain was right, I should just ask him to leave. And then, everything will be back to normal. I wouldn't have to deal with him and his shit. I wouldn't have to be in constant fear of him ruining my home. A place that, Ethan and I made together by creating happy memories. Zach is nothing like Ethan and I need to stop helping him.

I leaped out of my bed with the same anger which subdued moments ago. I turned the nob and swung the door open only to find Zach standing outside. His head snapped and his gaze met mine.

"I'm sorry-"

"Get out of here-"

We both spoke in unison. His eye widened and his jaw dropped when he processed my statement.

"You're kidding, right?"

I folded my arms over my chest and raised my eyebrow. "No I'm not. Get out of my house." I stated flatly.

"They'll kill me. You know it!" Fear lacing his voice.

"I don't care. I already told if you do that shit again, I'll throw you out." My voice came out harsher than I intended it to.

"But-" I didn't let him finish his sentence, because I knew if I did, he'll convince me. And I don't want that. I want him out of my house and out of my life.

"Leave!" I demanded.

His shouldes slumped in defeat while his heas nodded in agreement. I turned my back, not giving him another glance, fearing that I might melt and let him stay.

Stop him before he leaves, he needs your help. My heart screamed.

No! He only needs heroin. Let him ruin his life. My brain managed to shut my heart.

From the corner of my eye I saw him turning and giving me an apologetic look before making his way to the fromt door but I didn't bother to look at him. I heard the front door shut, indicating he left.

Turning quickly, I scanned the room and sinked into the floor in defeat, knowing that he actually left. For some unknown reason, I actually got used to his stranger behaviour but now he's gone. The silence in the room was deafening.

Are you satisfied now? My heart asked.

No.

You should be celebrating since everything's gonna go back to normal, right?

Tears streamed down my face and i wondered why. Maybe because I was left all alone in this house.

Because you promised yourself to help him and you failed. Just like the way you failed to help Ethan. You couldn't save him but you can save Zach but you are just a coward. You gave upon him just like you gave upon Ethan.

The tears kept coming in and let me flow. I knew my was right. I gave upon on Ethan when I shouldn't have and I lost him. I can't do the same to Zach. He deserves this life just like how Ethan deserved. It was my fault. His death was my fault. I can't let the same happen to Zach.

Its all shit, you didn't do anything wrong. Zach doesn't need your help. So stop blaming yourself! My brain interjected.

My heart was right. I can't take it anymore. I have to help Zach even if doesn't want any. With  pure determination running through my veins, I rose up from my spot and rushed to the door.

I have to find him. I need to find him, before its too late.

Before he does something he I both regret.