Insanity At Its Best

32 - care

Unsteady by X Ambassadors

"Up" I tell him softly and he lifts his arms above his head. Or as high as they can go.

It's only been half an hour since we've gotten back but he's practically drained of his energy.

Most of his clothes have deteriorated because of the hot chemicals making it slightly easier to get him naked. But it hurts all the same.

His jeans are a made of a tougher material so there are only a few holes on the legs.

I unbutton them and pull them down leaving him in his soaked boxers.

"Sit down" I tell him as I watch him sway a little from standing far too long and he listens.

I walk to the shower and pull the glass door open. I stick my hand in and turn the knob.

I wait until the water is all nice and warm before stripping myself of my clothes.

I stand bare in front of Jack but he doesn't notice. He's been distracted since we've been back but I can't blame him.

"Come on, you need to shower" I tell him and he stands.

I lace our fingers together and pull him towards the shower.

I slide the door closed behind us and position him to stand beneath the spray.

My eyes glance up at his face. His eyes are closed shut and he just stands still. Water pouring down over his face can't be comfortable but he doesn't seem to mind.

I grab his Axe shampoo and pour the clear cologne smelling liquid into the palm of my hand.

I rub it into his scalp and lather it amongst his hair.

Rinsing and rinsing I wash away the nasty chemicals. It lightened his hair, so it isn't pitch black anymore. The green streaks have faded as well.

When I no longer see anything but water fall from his head I move onto his body.

I grab the soap from the soap holder stuck onto the tiled wall.

I rub the oval shaped bar across his shoulders, down his arms, over his chest and stomach.

He turns around without me having to say anything and I do his back.

I take a moment to look at his skin. Blotches of red burn marks cover his now pale body. The chemicals lightened him up to a sickly white colour.

I place a small kiss on his left shoulder blade.

I take a deep breath and put the soap back where I found it.

He turns back around and we both stand under the shower head.

Silence is all around us but the soft patter of the water hitting the floor.

I look up at him only to be blind sighted by the water falling into my eyes.

"Jack" I whisper and he grunts in response.

"I'm sorry" my voice breaks near the end and I shake my head.

The fact that I haven't heard his voice is what kills me most of all.

I could've lost him today. All because of Bruce. I could've lost him because I went after Bruce when I shouldn't have. What's wrong with me?

A tear falls from my eye and for the first time I feel his hand touch my chin.

I look up at him and his lips fall onto mine.

The kiss is slow, gentle. Two things I'm not used to receiving from him.

Our wet mouths move against each other so softly it's like he's barely even there.

"Don't cry" he whispers and I sniff not even noticing that my tears haven't stopped flowing.

"I can't...it hurts to see you like this. To know I did this" I whimper and shake my head.

"Don't cry. You know I hate to see frowns" he says and I nod.

"I know you do" a pained smile takes over my face before it's back to a frown.

I place my hand over his on my cheek and place a kiss on his palm.

"Forgive me" I whisper into his skin.

"I can never stay mad at you" he tells me and I try my best to smile.

"There ya go" he whispers and his forehead comes to lie against mine.

The water that cascades down his face hits mine but I welcome it with open arms.

It melts in with my tears and I giggle.

"What's so funny?" He asks but doesn't remove himself.

"This whole situation. I tell you how much I need you, I get you to confess how much you need me and I still mange to fuck it up" I laugh painfully.

"You're right that's pretty funny" he chuckles and I smile, this time for real.

"I turned that frown upside" I tell him as I glide my fingertips across his bottom lip.

"Yeah you did" he says with a small smile.

"Let's get out, I'm starting to prune up" I look over my hands before turning off the water. We step out of the shower and each grab our towels.

I wrap mine around my torso and he wraps his low on his waist.

I lace our fingers together and walk back into the master bedroom.

I've already laid out his boxers along with what he's wearing to sleep on the bed so he gets straight to it.

I walk back into the bathroom and put on my underwear before heading back.

I pick a random shirt from Jack's drawer and throw it over my head.

He waits for me on the bed. His back against the headboard and his legs stretched out in front of him.

I shut the lights off before crawling into bed alongside him. He rests his head on my shoulder and I raise my hand to comb through his hair.

"My body hurts" he says weakly and I pull him down.

My head lies on the surface of the pillow below and I open my arms for him.

His head rests a against my chest and I thread my fingers through his wet hair.

Droplets of water soak through my shirt but I don't care.

The moon light from outside illuminates us.

We hold each other close throughout the night.

He sleeps soundly, I, on the other hand cannot.

At moments he struggles to breathe and the painful reminder of what I caused flashes in my mind.

I hug him tighter and whisper apologies into his hair.

If only it was that easy to erase what I had done. The person he was slowly becoming.