Insanity At Its Best

39 - unstable

Youth of America by Birdbrain

I stand below the shower head. The hot water emerging from above falls ceremoniously down onto me.

As my head hangs low the water then travels down the expanse of my back and down my lower body.

And the funny thing is, I can't feel it at all.

I can feel the heaviness of the water, sure, but I can't exactly feel it. It's like I'm numb to the touch.

Ever since I fell into the large container filled with boiling lethal chemicals it's as if it burned off every nerve in my body.

I stretch my arms out and turn them right side up.

I glide my fingertips down my forearms and grimace at the look of my skin.

It's a disgusting chalky white tint. It doesn't even look healthy. It looks like I'm sick or something.

I shut the water off and I breathe in deeply.

I step out of the shower and wrap my dark towel around my waist.

I place my hands on the counter top and stare into my reflection.

The man looking back isn't me. It's something else. Someone else.

My eyes, they're not empty. They're this captivating emerald green but it's not the same. Something sick lies beneath. Something evil.

I can see it. I can see it developing. Growing. Becoming something way worse.

My right eye twitches. 

Slowly a smile takes over my lips. It widens until it looks close to painful.

They're chapped beyond repair. A deep red colour is now set in them. I pinch my bottom lip in between my fingers and dig in my nails.

I look like a fucking clown.

"Yeah and you're a fucking pussy!"

Harley shouts and I growl. She stands all pretty and pristine in the mirror where my reflection should be.

"You let that good for nothing Bruce Wayne get away with it. You shoulda done something Jack! Anything. But you didn't. You just let him get to you!" She reprimands me and I roll my eyes.

"Looky here Harls don't make me teach you some manners" I seethe. Right now is not the time to make my angry. Doesn't she know that? Can't she tell?!

"You can't and won't do shit. You and I both know this" she smirks and I yell. I connect my left fist with the mirror and watch as it cracks.

Roughly I glide a hand through my quiff before furrowing my eyebrows.

Strands of my pitch black hair come out in tuffs. I blink rapidly. The more I comb through, the more comes out.

I start to breathe heavily. My chest rises and falls quickly. My heart beats against my ribs faster and I clench my fists in anger.

I look up to see my reflection in midst of the broken glass.

"Don't forget, that's seven years of bad luck J" I can hear her soft whisper in my ear.

I growl loudly before smashing my hand into the other mirror in front of me.

Different sizes of broken glass falls from the wall and into the sink.

I can feel myself shaking from fury.

I grab a piece from the sink and hold it tightly.

I don't even feel when it pierces my skin. The only recognition that I have is the blood dripping from my hand.

I raise my hand and watch as it slides down my arm.

I place it against my wrist with the tip against my flesh I drag it across my skin.

I do the same all up and down my arm until not a single piece of my skin is showing.

No. I can't see that ugly white skin tone. All that is visible is the dark red liquid flowing of my cuts and across my forearms.

I sway a little and grab a hold on the  sink counter for balance.

But when I look I can see my disgusting self once again in the mirror.

I spit at it. At him. At me.

"Piece of shit. Good for nothing fucker" I shout at the reflection.

A small laugh emits from my mouth and in less then a second I'm in full hysterics.

Clutching my stomach from laughter. I can feel my abs straining beneath skin.

Dizziness sets in but I can't stop from laughing. Although nothing's funny.

I drop the glass from my hand and glide a hand through my almost gone hair.

More locks of hair come out and I comb through them with my other hand.

I stare at myself before grinning. And that grin turns into a menacing smile.

I lower my head and stare more intensely at myself.

"Heh" I chuckle.

"Heh huh ho ha" I snicker.

"Ha heh ha heh" I repeat until my smile is back.

"HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA H AH HA H AH HA H AH AH AH HAA HAA HA HA AHA HHAAA HA AHAAA HAAAA" I laugh harder, louder, scarier.

Spit dribbles down my chin from me not closing my mouth. It nastily hangs from my jaw but I do nothing to have it do otherwise.

I grip my hair tightly in between my fingers and pull as I laugh menacingly at my reflection.

I grab a shard of glass and drag the sharp part down the length of my arm. I throw the large piece of glass across the room and bang my fists against the wall.

Repeatedly I bang my head on the bathroom door but nothing.

Nothing.

I feel nothing.

I am nothing.

Nothing but an empty shell of the man I used to be.

Now that's.....that's reeeaal funny. Don't ya think?