Insanity At Its Best

34 - difficult

Gorgeous by X Ambassadors (Upstate Sessions)

I'm in a state in between sleep and awake. My eyes are closed shut but my mind is up and running.

The sound of ruffling sheets behind me urges for me to open my eyes and I do so.

I blink a few times as I try to adjust to my surroundings.

The room is dark, just like when I was trying to fall asleep. The only light pouring inside is coming from he moonlight.

I roll over silently and stare at him.

His back is towards me as he slumps over himself. With his forearms on his his thighs he hangs his head low as he stares at the floor.

I crawl towards him and sit back with my legs beneath me.

My knees hug lowly on his hips and I wind my arms around his stomach.

"Come back to bed" I whisper into his cold skin.

Goosebumps arise on the pale flesh as the breath from my mouth hits the surface of his shoulder blade.

"'M not tired" he mumbles and I smile.

His voice is rough and raspy. It's like bathing in syrup.

"It's okay, just lay with me" I tell him and ghost my fingers up and down his spine.

He lets out a sigh and moves back into bed.

I let him and watch as he lies back down and rests his head on the pillow.

He beckons me and pats his thighs. I oblige and sit on top. I bring the covers up to my waist and let it pool on his body.

"Harley" he whispers and I look up. His eyes pierce through my soul. Even in the darkness I can sense the intensity behind his stare.

"Yes?" I answer back.

"Every breath that I take burns my chest. The air that flows through me feels like sandpaper gliding ever so slowly across the inside of my lungs" he growls before going into a fit.

His rough cough vibrates throughout his torso and I cup his cheek in my palm.

"If I could take the pain away I would J" I tell him with sincerity and in a blink of an eye he sits up.

"It's interesting that you say that because there is something you could do for me" I tilt my head a little and wait for him to continue.

"Do you love me?" My heart skips a beat at the end of his sentence.

"Of course" I tell him and he smiles maliciously.

"Then cut yourself" he says and I pause for a moment.

"Wait. What?" I ask dumbfounded not believing I heard what I just think I heard.

"Since you can't take the pain away and you love me then that means your willing to suffer through the same thing" he explains it and I close my eyes.

"So you want me to cut myself to feel the same pain you do" he nods and I shake my head.

"What would be the point in that?" I ask him severely confused.

"Because you love me. And you feel sorry for me. Doing this will show me how much you mean to me" he says like it's the clearest thing in the world and I furrow my eyebrows.