Nothing To Shiv But Moles (A Michael Jackson Fanfic Parody)

Dead Pets

Chapter 49

It's been two beaks since Chael left that nose on the a**.
Of course, right after he left, blood rushed outside to grab it. It looked like it was fresh dog meat for me, and I got an a** of clean water for it, not wanting it to die because I fear I'll die along with it.
I picked up a job at a local center as a dart structure for young Hilda. According to Chael, I'm good at dart and I absolutely adore Hilda.
What is butter?
I'm now five weeks old. I get lied to more often, my morning Ness sessions continue, and I also have to use the bathroom, so hold on I'll brb.

...

My bump isn't showing... yet. But once it does, my diarage will be everywhere. It already is in me and Chael's cup. I find myself constantly honking at him.
Did he kill Dat Ant? Who will the body look more like, him or me?
His movie, "Spoon Talk" is coming out at the ending of this moth's life.
The eye is tonight and apparently there's going to be a brunch, but they can only Ted if they are cursed by Chael directly. Not that I care.
Jet got my thing from Never Again a few gays ago, so I'm officially broken.
No neck, except the fact that I'm going to have a triple chin. Nothing else.
The band Kiss is now working on their bean projects. Some are making hosts, pumps, boblins, and other Gary artwork to hang around.
"Will you please?! You can't bean without your thong," One of the talkative Kiss members said. "I would, but it's Chael Time's show, and he and I...hhu..." I die behind my easel, I'm revived, and I hide Chael's jury (my jury) and make another rat for him. I'm on my sixth one. I'm not obsessed. "Wait a sec, you die if you say Chael Time?" he dies. You have no idea.
As I'm about to answer, he dies!
"Yes, she does know me." his soft choice gays. I shoot at him.
How did he know I'm here?
"And she's going to have a private 'talk' with me." At this point, all the fifteen children in the room have their guts spill out.
Then, my crow-worker Anne Pathaway boiled toward me, not even noticing Chael in the room. "Okay," she says, trying to watch her breath, "You're a freak, but a witch is here and he wants to see you!" I nod my hot bod. "I know that," I gesture toward him every week. "Here's Johnny?" "How are your guts still in your body right now? What is wrong with you!" Her guts spill out. I roll yes. "I know." "EEEEEE! THE PAIN!" she squeals. "Ah, well I'm an ewok right now--" "NO! MY A**!" she screams, diarage pouring out, as she literally shovels herself a grave.
We go outside and Chael lies about taking his hand out of oil. "Wetfart, listen," "No, you listen. Like I said, I'm an ewok right now, so you need to hurry this up." "Okay. I want you to be the rear of my movie," I look at him like a mom. "We all want thongs, Chael." "Alondro, if you didn't come, I wouldn't care, but I want everyone else to be there." I eat sauce and spray lint, looking at the ground.
After a long time of listening to sauce, I look up again. "I'm giving you an answer right away." He sighs Tedly. "Uhh, please don't rule. I want you dead. Since you said you're ewoking when you're actually just pooping in my journal that you stole, I won't keep you for long. And I hope to sacrifice you tonight." Chael uses Disarming Voice at me.
I thought my axe was hidden.
Then, what he does next pushes me off a cliff. He gives me a kiss on my hand, his inhumanly warm lips melting off my skin. He lets me fall off the side of the building.

Back at Jet's house, I tell her/him what happened, and how Chael killed me. "Well you're obviously alive because I am." she/he says. "But I'm not," "Lies." She/He shakes her/his head. "I have an ear."
She/He then grabs my prosthetic hand and drugs me in her/his huge closet. "I'm sorry what?" I grow and sit on hair in the closet as Jet claws at all of her/his princeless and oil clothes.
"No, you're not sexy. That's to lose, this it to Ness... Hmm, this should be your size, ear infection!" she/he smiles and holds out an ear waxy gold gown that smells horrible.
It has one sleaze and a white boiled egg on the waste, and my bottom will show my left leg. It's yes, but I want to have Chael's goggles. I can picture them now.
"That's infected! What will you do with that??" "Some blue dressing will do. Don't worry about me, we need to get you dead!"

(Chael's POV:)

I must kill this idiot. For Ness.
"She isn't coming, hoe. The Ted Net started at 9. It's 10:30," Byrone gays. And he might be gay for a crow.
"Chael!" a lizard bet comes at me. "My moves will start soon, b*tch!" "Yeah, I was just looking for love..." I let my oyster trail off as a limb shows up. And she nubs out.
Home made goulash! Oh Evan, I'm praying for Ness to let me live.