' interracial imagines ' - justin bieber

"Stay the night, please."

sophomore year hit me like sharkiesha y'all. i am shook . but i'm trying to get my writing back on track cause i refuse to let this book flop like my other one did.

________________________________

I was so scared I was shaking. I mean, how could I tell him? He deserved so much better. So, so much better. He needed a woman who could give him what he needed, emotionally. Someone who could commit to him.

I just couldn't. It's not me, and it never was supposed to be me. Justin is the one who made me love him. He sweet talked his way into my heart. And now, here I was. 7 months into the relationship and in the same position I always seem to end up in; on a man's couch, anxiously waiting for them to return so I could end it all.

It was routine at this point. Greet them at the door, and sit them down. Then sit next to them, grab their hands into my sweaty palms, give them puppy eyes and start with an apology. Say sorry for wasting their time and tell them how they deserve and will find better than me, and that I have a wild heart that can't be tamed. And they look stunned, and I apologize again, then I hurry home to Jason, and carry on pretending like I had forgotten that just one day earlier someone was in love with me.

Though I've been through this, my palms were still very sweaty when I sat Justin down. I started with the signature eyes, but when they met his, my plan crumbled. They way he looked at me broke me. He stared at me with all the love in the world. The way he furrowed his brows and waiting for what seemed to have me sweating bullets, indicated he cared. I stared blankly at him, rethinking everything I was going to say, as he searched my face for signs of emotion. But, all he could see was confusion.

"Y/N?" He spoke so sweetly. "Are you okay?" I stared for a while longer, at a loss for words. I thought I could do what I had done to every other boy, but in that moment I realized Justin wasn't the other boys. The other boys were disposable, and gave me a timed love. Something I knew wouldn't last. But, Justin was pushing for years. The other boys were like me, looking for friendly flings, but Justin was looking for love.

I finally met his eyes and collected myself, watching the worry run through his eyes.

"I, I think we, uh, should-" I paused and took a deep breath, bracing myself. "We should take a break."

I surprised myself, but not as much as I surprised him. I watch his eyes gloss over as he took a deep breath. He nodded. In all honesty, I was going to break up with him. I was going to treat him like every other boy. But, my heart over took my brain and now I was stuck in this lie.

"Not, uh, for long or anything. Just for a little. I need to, ya know, think and stuff." 

"How long?" He whimpered.

"Two weeks, tops," I promised. I internally cringed, thinking about what I'd have to tell Jason. He stayed quiet and I took that as my queue to leave. I stood, heading to the door.

"Wait," he croaked. I could hear the tears in his voice and it made me want to cry. "Stay the night, please."

I turned slowly, to see him staring at me with tear filled eyes, breaking my heart. I couldn't even speak. But, I could nod. His tears stopped as he realized I had agreed and he stood to hug me. I was still frozen as he squeezed me, but I could feel his breathing was still shaky.

He led me to his room and stripped, grabbing himself sweats, and tossing me one of his shirts. This was how we always slept. I caught the shirt and stared at it in my hands, imagining never being able to wear one of his shirts again. Never getting to fall asleep and wake up with him. Never getting to bother him about his snoring again. Never being able to feel his warmth against me again.

"I-I'm gonna go change into this," I stuttered , bolting to the bathroom before Justin could object. I sighed, and sat on the toilet seat, rubbing my face. I grabbed my phone and debated wether or not to call Jason.

Jason was the real reason I had never had a real relationship. We had met freshman year of high school in first period Biology. He had my heart the moment we locked eyes. We dated all through high school. We were the it couple, everyone aspired to have a love like ours and I didn't blame them. Jason treated me great until we graduated.

Once we were out of high school, and real life hit, Jason began to show his true colors. He became violent and possessive. For months, he we come home to our shared apartment drunk, high or both, and scream at me. But, I loved him. Instead of leaving him I would run into the arms of some random guy, just to remind him he needed me like I needed him. I would pretend, he would come crawling back saying he was gonna be better to me, I would fall for it,  then he'd fucked up, and the cycle was repeated. Justin, was one of those randoms. At least I had thought he was. But, I fell for him, and I fell fast.

When Jason came crawling back after a month, to both our surprises, I declined his offer. I told him I need time, and that he needed to prove himself. But, I dragged him along for 6 months, declining every offer to get back together as fast as he could ask. Somewhere deep down, even back then I knew I wasn't going back to him. He'd had his chances, and he'd screwed up one too many times, but I didn't have the heart to tell him I was done. He was first love, my high school sweetheart. But, I knew Justin was right for me. And I knew I had to do what I'd be dreading.

My heart was ready to burst out of my chest as I dialed Jason's number. It only rang twice before I heard his voice.

"What's taking so long, I wanna get you home so I can show you how much I've missed you," he rasped. I winced at his voice.

"I'm not coming," I whispered. There was a small silence before he laughed.

"I think you're breaking up, it sounded like you said you weren't coming," he spoke cockily. I was about to respond when I heard Justin knock on the door softly.

"Baby, you okay," he called. I covered my phone speaker before answering.

"I'm fine, I'll be out in a minuet." I looked back at my phone, I could hear Jason yelling 'hello'. "Yeah, Jason, I'm not coming," I sighed. "You had your chances to have me and I'm done. I deserve better."

"Are you serious, Y/N? 5 years down the drain? Did you even love me?" He shouted.

"If I didn't love you I wouldn't take you back the first 13 times, Jason," I snapped. "I just love myself enough to stop this torture. I'm tired of looking like a fool. I'm sorry. I love you, I always will, but I have to do what's best for myself," I finished. The line was silent until he said the two words I had been waiting for.

"Fuck you." Then the line went dead.

I took a deep breath and let it out. It felt like he was smoke in my lungs and I couldn't really breath, but I held him in. And now, I was finally letting go and breathing in a breath of fresh air named Justin Bieber.

I quickly tossed the shirt he gave me on and swung the door open, wanting nothing more than to be in bed with the boy I loved, and who loved me back. I admired him, sprawled out in just some sweats, flicking mindlessly through channel sleepily. His looked at me, droopy eyes and all, and smiled. I could see the love dripping from his eyes, and I was feeding off his attention. I slid in the bed with him, and cuddled into his side. He kissed my head, and wrapped his arm around me to pull me closer.

"I love you," he murmured softly. Even through the tiredness in his voice, I heard his sincerity.

"I love you, too, baby," I whispered back. "More than you understand."