Florecer

Get It Together

        Tracy was helping Danny pack all his games and toys, the last things to deal with until they could all leave for home. Check out was in less than an hour and everyone else was finished and ready to go. But there was a strange air. Tracy noticed as soon as she woke up. The feeling only intensified when she saw June out on the hall, then Lily in the living room. Something had happened the night before, and it hadn't been good. Everything had gone to hell while she had been asleep.

     "Almost done?" Lily asked, poking her upper body into the room.

     Tracy zipped up Danny's bag. "All done."

     Lily nodded and waited in the hall for Tracy and Danny to come out with their bags. She took one of Tracy's to help then walked with them to the living room, where Christina and June were waiting patiently. There was an awkward moment of silence before everyone simply made their way to the front door. They went down to the ground floor, absolutely quiet, and walked out to the car, Lily staying behind for a minute to take care of anything she had to with the front desk.

     The drive home was so uncomfortable that even the kids shut their mouths.

     Lily was at the wheel, and she stopped at June's first. She got out of the car to help with the bags, but by the way June was grabbing at them, it was obvious her help wasn't wanted. So she stood by the car and waved to Christina. She waved to June, too, hoping to get some type of sincere reaction. But all she received was a tight not-smile and nod in goodbye. Defeated, she sunk into the driver's seat and started for Tracy's. When she got there she helped with Tracy and Danny's bags then turned to leave, sulking as she headed for the front door.

     But Tracy stopped her, asking, "What in the hell happened last night?"

     Lily kept her head down and her body aimed toward the front door. "I don't know. I'm going home, okay? I hope this vacation was everything you wanted."

     With that, she left.

     The whole way to her apartment she could only think of all the things she could have possibly done wrong the night before with June. She thought perhaps she had been too forward. Perhaps she had been too rough. Perhaps, perhaps, perhaps.

     Mood lower than ever, Lily made it home and locked herself in her bedroom. She hated to think of herself as a deviant. But she must have been for June to look at her completely upset the night before. She regretted ever allowing herself to act on her lust for June. It was clear to her now that she hadn't been ready for a relationship, of any kind.

     The revelation caused her to burrow into her blankets and shut down.

–----

     Working on her laptop, Lily sighed. She had been running robotically for over a week in an attempt to get back to some semblance of normalcy. She wasn't trying to forget what she had done to June, but she was trying to put herself in a zone where she could get the courage to talk to June about it without bursting into tears. But all she was heading into was depression. She could already feel her body aching and her will to do anything but sleep fading away. It was unfortunate.

     After she was done with her work, and was sure she could have some time to herself without responsibilities hanging over her head, she shut her laptop and curled up into a ball. She needed to shower, which she hadn't done in a few days. She needed to eat, which she hadn't done in so long that her stomach hurt. She needed to use the bathroom, which she hadn't done recently.

     In short, she was a mess.

     That much was blatantly clear when the doorbell rang and she groaned in dismay at the interruption rather than get up to answer it. She curled further into herself when the bell rang twice more in quick succession. Only when the noise stopped did she loosen up a bit.