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        Lily slept for more than a dozen hours. It was a habit when she was low, and since she wasn't anywhere near the surface yet, she slumbered until she was sore and needed to eat, drink, pee, or all three. When she needed to tend to herself, she was alone in her apartment, and probably in the whole complex, she thought. It was afternoon when people were either working or at school.

     She sat on the toilet with her elbows digging into her thighs and her head in her hands tiredly. It took her longer than normal to empty her bladder. So she sat and sighed, listening to the strong stream echo. She had promised Tracy the night before that she would be trying to get her life back together, but she wasn't sure where to start aside from taking care of her body. Work, of course, had to get back to, if she still had any clients. But then? The only goal that she had aside from needs was Christina. Unfortunately, as Tracy had made extremely clear, that couldn't be achieved without going through... through...

     She growled to herself. She still couldn't say her name. She didn't want to. She finished up in the bathroom then went to the kitchen to try to have breakfast.

     It wasn't ideal that she couldn't even say her name, especially when she wanted to be with Christina. But she wanted to be prepared for failure. She needed to protect herself against the worst. Because, yes, her not loving her anymore was the worst.

     Tracy left a pre-made breakfast in the fridge just for Lily's tiny, sensitive, underused stomach. Lily was grateful and pecked at the meal the best she could. It was slow going, but at least it was going. She guessed it would be many more days until she was eating normally again. Sleeping, too. She definitely had to work on those things if she wanted to get back to work. She hoped there was at least one loyal client left for her to apologize to. At least she had enough saved up to keep her afloat comfortably for a long time if she had to start back from the bottom, she mused.

     Her phone chimed somewhere in the apartment. She grew annoyed at the noise, but she got up to try to find the device. She couldn't remember where she had dropped it after Christina's call. She followed the incessant chirping to Danny's room and found her cell tucked safely by his bed. She thought it cute that he wanted to protect it. He probably thought he had to be prepared to answer it.

     "Hello?" she husked into it, plopping down on Danny's twin.

     "Did you pick up Danny from school?"

     Lily almost frowned at her sister's question. "You took my keys, remember?" She should probably work on getting those back some time.

     "Yes, but, well. So he's not with you?"

     "No..." She checked the time. It was barely the end of the kids school day. "Why? What's wrong?"

     "He's not at school. Shit."

     "What do you mean he's not at school?" Fear seeped into her skin. She remembered that day... Felt herself finally feel something. Anger. "Tracy. What do you mean he's not at school?"

     "He's not here! I came to pick him up and he's not here!"

     "Where did you put my keys?"

     "Lily. No."

     "I'm going to look for him."

     "I've got this under control."

     "I can hear it in your voice. You're panicking."

     "Of course I am! But I'm not going to let you go on another rampage. Not when you're trying to get better. I can handle this."