Florecer

Sucker Punch

        There were twenty minutes where June cried, one hour where she sat in stunned silence, and two hours where she laid in bed, motionless, fearing the worst.

     The worst gave anxiety so severe that only forced sleep would stop it.

     Later, when she was fitfully dreaming, Lily came skulking back in a different mood than she had left in. She watched the clock for a minute, the device reading the ugly, early hour after midnight. Then she shed half her clothes and slipped into bed. She thought of leaving June alone, of perhaps going to sleep on the floor, or couch because she deserved it, but she saw the disheveled and stressed expression on June's face and stayed. She gently wrapped an arm around June to soothe her.

     June stuttered in her breathing and stirred.

     "Lily?" she whispered.

     "Yes."

     "Where did you go?"

     Only dreadful silence filled the room.

     "Lily?"

     "I thought of doing things," admitted Lily after some time. "I thought of things that... were not me. Things that were the old me, if I'm being honest."

     June listened, utterly awake and alert. Her heart pounded far too hard.

     "I made it halfway into doing those thoughts... But I didn't want to be the old me. I didn't want to be something that my father turned me into. I fought hard when I was younger to distance myself from him, to find myself without him haunting me. I didn't want him to suddenly start molding me in a moment of my own weakness."

     Again, the room sunk into silence.

     "Where did you go?" June ventured carefully, trying one more time to get a straight answer. "What did you do? Why did you come back?"

     Lily sighed, tired and heavy. "I went to an old stomping ground of mine and almost got caught up in it. Then I went to my apartment. I still haven't paid my rent, by the way. I got a very stern letter..."

     June rubbed Lily's arm and asked, "Lily, what did you do?"

     "I met someone and grabbed a drink along with a few other things..."

     "Oh, Lily, no."

     "I didn't do it. I swear, I didn't do it. I couldn't. I just... I worked so hard. I couldn't go back to that, you know? So I kicked them out and came back here. I'm sorry. I'm sorry that I left, I'm sorry that I had you worrying for so long."

     "Are you okay?"

     Lily let out a groan and pressed herself close. "I feel stupid. I know him coming after you wasn't your fault, but I was upset. I didn't want to scare you."

     June entwined her fingers with Lily's and kissed the digits stuck between her own. "It was scarier having you out there doing I-don't-know-what. I would have rather had you here yelling."

     "I'm no good."

     "You're going through a rough patch."

     "I shouldn't ever scare you."

     "No, you shouldn't. So don't run from me again."

     "You're sticking with me? You're letting me stay?"

     June bent her legs to curl. "Yes. You're trying to fight yourself and I see that. I don't like when you get angry but... I know you're trying not to be. Just keep me in the loop. Please."