It's been awhile...

If you're happy...

"Mom! Someone's at the door!" Maria yelled from the living room, where she was occupied with Liam, while Stevie was making dinner.

"Yeah, I heard. You could actually open it, you know?" Despite saying that, Stevie was going to the front door. "Lindsey?"

"Hi." He half-smiled. "I'm sorry I haven't called that I was coming, but uh... May I come in?"

"Well, sure." Stevie gave a small nod, opening the door wider. "The hell are you doing here?" She asked him quietly, leading him to the kitchen.

"You left behind something." Taking the bracelet out of his pocket, he handed it to her, as she quickly hid it. 

"That's really risky to be bringing me my things."

"Yeah, I just thought-"

"No, it's okay. I'm just saying. Call first."

"Is Ryan around?"

"No. He left for some business trip like three days ago. Didn't you know?"

Frowning, Lindsey shook his head. "I can't remember us talking about anything like that. Where would he be going anyway? All of our business is local."

"You really know nothing about this?" Crossing her arms over her chest, Stevie questioned. "I believe he said, he was going to look around."

"Honestly, this is news to me. We just opened a new restaurant, why would he be looking around so soon?" Seeing Stevie becoming concerned, Lindsey tried to make it seem like it was nothing. "I'm sure he just forgot to mention it or something. If it had been important, he would have let me know."

"I hope so." She was still thinking about it. Was he lying? Was he hiding something? She shook herself mentally and faced Lindsey again. "Is there anything else?"

"There is." Lindsey nodded, slightly hesitant. "I want to talk about it out of the earshot of the kids."

"Um, okay..." Choosing to head outside to the backyard, Stevie closed the sliding glass door, once they both stepped through it. They sat down and judging by the look on Lindsey's face, she guessed it was something serious. "So, are you going to tell me what's going on?"

"When I came home that night, well, morning, I sat down in my home office, had a drink and I was looking through our pictures, from the old days. Jane came in not much later and, uh... she asked me if you and I are seeing each other again."

"What?!" 

"Calm down, please. Don't worry, just listen to me." Lindsey reached for her hand, as he continued to speak. "We talked and we both decided that the best thing for us would be to get divorced."

"Oh my God, Lindsey, no! No, you can't do that. Absolutely not!" She shook her head, snatching her hand away from him.

"What do you mean by that? Stevie, this is my marriage that's not really worth-"

"Worth? Of course it's worth something - a lot! Lindsey, you two have a daughter together. She needs her parents to stay together. She's a teenager. Can you imagine how hard she would take it? No, Linds..."

"Let me stop you right there. This is my marriage. I'm leaving Jane, I'm not leaving Ella, ever." He added. "She's always going to be my daughter, but when it comes to Jane... I've never been in love with her. I told her that, I told her that I love you."

"Oh my God..." Stevie sighed, shaking her head. "What a fucking a idiot. Why now, huh? Everything was working just fine, when you and I weren't having an affair again. You once again created some sort of perfect illusion in your mind and you're willing to throw your life away for it!"

"That is not at all what's happening. Stevie, I'm not happy with her. Why should I stay in a marriage that isn't working anymore? Why can't I start over and maybe finally be happy? While the decision I made has a lot to do with you, it's not all about you. The fact that you let me back into your bed didn't suddenly fuck up my marriage. It's always been fucked up and I finally got tired of it. You can't say anything to this, I mean, you can, but I won't listen. This is my life, Stevie. I want out of that marriage and I am getting out of it."

"And what's next then? What's the big plan?"

"There is no big plan. Why are you being like this, Steph? I just came here to tell you, my friend, that I've made a pretty life changing decision and you're calling me a fucking idiot, forbidding me to go forward with what I've decided. I'm sorry, but it doesn't work that way."

"Are you going through a mid-life crisis? Do you feel the need to go after someone younger? Because I can't see any reason why you should divorce your wife."

"What the fuck, Stevie? What are you even talking about? You can't see any reason? How about the one where I don't love my wife? Isn't that good enough of a reason for you?" He was getting frustrated, he didn't expect her to react this way. "And if I ever go after someone, you know that's only ever going to be you."

"That's what it's about, like I've already said - illusion. We're not going to end up together, Lindsey, we both know that. I was fine with an affair, because... I do love you and miss you, need you, but leaving my family? I have two children to think about."

"I'm not asking you to do the same. If you're happy, then..."

"Happy I am not." Stevie admitted. 

"So, you're still married to Ryan just because of the kids?"

"Not just because. Kids need both of their parents. Maria is fifteen, but Liam is still so very little..."

"That's true, but he has a father, not matter what." Lindsey emphasized on the father and Stevie looked away.

"We're not getting anywhere, Linds, are we? I think you should go." 

"You're kicking me out? Seriously?"

"I'm not, I'm just..." Sighing, she shrugged. "I don't know. I simply don't want to talk about this for the millionth time."

"I'm still going through with the divorce."

"What else can I say, that I haven't already? Do what you think is best, I guess." She stood up and went for the door, Lindsey quickly following after her, stopping her by taking her hand. 

"Steph, I'm not pressuring you into anything by leaving Jane. I want you to understand that. I accept your decision, if you say things are fine for you, then okay. But please respect my decision as well."

She didn't say anything to that, allowing him to close the gap between them, as he kissed the back of her head, saying he loved her. 

"I'm sorry." What was he sorry for, he didn't really know. "I'll just let you be."

"I don't want that." She whispered. "I promised you, I was back. I intend to keep that promise."

The more she spoke, the more confused Lindsey got. Did she want him? Did she not? What the hell did she want anyway? 

"That's good to hear. I'll have you in whatever way you let me."

In all honesty, Lindsey thought once he told Stevie about the divorce, she would be happy. That she would realize there wasn't that much stopping them from being together if they both wanted to. Clearly, he had already taken a huge step forward, while for some reason she was still lingering behind him.