It's been awhile...

I never stopped

A little hesitant, Maria stood in the doorway, looking at Stevie with Liam by her side, as they were watching cartoons. Well only Stevie was, because Liam had fallen asleep, as she played with his curls. A couple of days had passed already, since they left home and Maria wanted some answers. She wasn't sure though, whether she was more afraid to ask the questions or hear those answers. 

Stevie sensed a presence behind her, looking over her shoulder to see her daughter. Carefully, not to wake Liam, Stevie got up from the couch and walked past Maria, taking her hand, leading them to another room to talk.

"What's on your mind, sweet girl?" 

"Everything." Maria replied honestly, sitting on the bed Indian style. "I haven't had a chance to ask you about any of this yet. Well, I did, I just... I wanted it to be the two of us." Lindsey was out, working. 

"Okay, I can understand that. I want you to know that I'll explain everything to the best of my ability. You can ask me anything you want." Mimicking the way Maria sat, Stevie leaned slightly forward, waiting.

"Could you start at the beginning? I mean... obviously, what's going on between you and Lindsey hasn't just started."

Shaking her head, Stevie sighed. "No. Uh... Well, to start at the very beginning, Lindsey and I met when we were teenagers. At first we were really good friends, later we both developed feelings for each other, just that he thought I would never want to be with him and I never thought he would want to be with me." Smiling a little, Stevie continued. "Somehow, we still ended up together. I was head over heels in love with him and I believe he was too. Things were wonderful for about a year, a year and a half maybe. We had the same interests; beliefs, art, music, you name it. Then Lindsey decide we should move to Los Angeles. He's always been very determined. If he came up with an idea, he would always make it happen. So, he wanted to open a restaurant. I laughed in his face. He was so passionate, he made me believe that that was the only right thing to do for us. I dropped out of college and soon, we were living in LA. We both got jobs, so we could buy food and pay the rent. We worked really hard. Sometimes, we would even play a couple of nights a week at some pub for a little bit of money."

"Wait... you were in a band?" Raising an eyebrow, Maria asked. "You never told me that. That's so cool."

"I'm not sure how cool it was, I'm not in a band now." Laughing lightly, Stevie shrugged. "It was five of us, I was the only girl. I honestly believe we could have made it a much bigger band than it was, but I was pretty much the only one interested, to others, it just earned them extra money." Coming back to the story she had started telling... "Anyway. Nothing was happening. Home, work, home again. Lindsey changed. He wasn't his sweet self anymore. He would often become irritated, angry... He would take it out on me most of the time. He was never ever physical, but he used to call me names, accuse me of things, somehow the fact that he wasn't successful yet would become my fault. Words hurt too." Stevie looked away, growing quiet for a moment. "I loved him enough to see past all of that, but... He forgot about his big dream, he left the band, he started gigging as a solo musician. I was fine with that, not really, but I had to be. I was tired of us constantly fighting, so I just kept quiet, much like I've been doing with your father lately... Then Lindsey stopped coming home, spending his nights God knows where. Although, it didn't remain a secret for very long. Girls came knocking on our door, saying they were there to see him, that he met them at some bar the previous night, they drank, partied and he gave them the address to our home, to come and see him again." She wasn't sobbing or anything like that, but she couldn't stop her tears either. "He slept with other women behind my back. I have no idea how many of them there were. It hurt, badly, but when he actually started bringing them home, when I was there, too... I couldn't do it anymore. I told him that enough was enough." Stevie still left a chunk of the truth out, Maria didn't need to know. "I had also met your father like a couple of months before it got really bad. He was nice, he knew the right thing to say, he knew when I needed a shoulder to cry on, just someone to hold me for a while. He was that person to me. I felt as if I was having an emotional affair and in my opinion it was as bad as going out and having sex with someone else. So, I left Lindsey. He was bitter about it for a long time." She then quickly added. "But I don't want you to think any less of Lindsey. He's a completely different man now. He is."

After a minute of processing it all, Maria asked. "And you still loved him after everything?"

"I did, I never stopped. I still loved Lindsey when I married your father, when... when we had you and Liam. Especially, when Liam was born. I always loved him." Smiling sadly, Stevie wondered aloud. "It's as if Lindsey and Ryan switched places..." 

"What happened with Dad? Why did he changed so drastically?"

"If only I knew. He became extremely controlling, he stopped caring about me, about my feelings. I think, he thought he owned me, still does. I was like a maid to him; I cleaned, I cooked, I took care of the children. He used me when he needed to, I don't know how else to call it. I so desperately tried to hide it from you, you didn't need to see all of what was going on. Unlike Lindsey, your father did hurt me physically and I will never forgive him for that. If you love somebody, you don't... you don't slap them around just because you had a bad day."

"I had no idea..." Maria said quietly. "I don't know how will I be able to face him again."

"Well, sweetheart, he is your Dad after all and he does love you. You don't have to stop having a relationship with him. But I will."

"You should." Nodding her head, Maria said. "You've done nothing to deserve to be treated this way."

Smiling a little, Stevie asked. "Are you going to be okay with it? I mean... Lindsey and I? He's a huge part of my life and he's... he's Liam's father and also the father of the baby I'm carrying."

"What? You're pregnant?" Mouth agape. "Oh my God, Mom!" Leaning forward, Maria crushed Stevie in a hug. "Are you serious?"

"Yes! It's very early, but yes."

"Aw, I'm so happy, I really am!" Smiling widely, Maria added. "And to answer your question, yes, I'm okay with it. I simply want you to be happy, Mom. That's all."

Feeling as if a huge weight had been lifted, Stevie breathed out heavily. "It's good to know I, we have your support."

"You absolutely do." Nodding, she hugged her mother again. 

Stevie then quickly swung her legs over the edge of the bed. "We completely forgot about your brother!" She went to the living room, with Maria behind her, as they both found Liam sat on the floor, stuffing his mouth with cookies that were left on the coffee table from earlier. Smiling, Stevie said. "Like father, like son."

~

A little insight into their past.