dust untouched

too much salt is unhealthy

never bottle it in, they say;
an overflowing dam
will only flood myself and those around me,
that two drops too many
can cause an utter catastrophe,
that one brick too little,
can culture another breakdown,
and i tell to myself
that if i can't take care of my body
why do i bother breathing?

please, darling, understand
that when you kiss my lips
it will taste of the oceans
inside my body
created by secluded thoughts
and swallowed tears that keep
me hydrated;
and too much salt is bad for you
i've been convinced
i need
to never talk too much
or else i slip up and say
something i'm not supposed to
i've learned to keep
these oceans in
and let my own mind
create the creatures
that seem small
in the naked eye, in your perception
but when you get deeper,
when you kiss harder,
you might just taste
how dangerous they are

every creature devours its own kind
the way a feeling devours another feeling
the way my happiness has been devoured
by an entity i dare not name
nor do i know
the jellyfish sting my lips
everytime i try
to peel off the skin
reminding me to keep
my mouth shut
before the waters
i am coiled in
drown anybody else around me.

the only surface
i have been told of
is the sand on the depths
of the water;
i try to reach deeper
desperate for something
i can hold on to
desperate for something solid
desperately reaching for something
i'm not even sure of,
desperately reaching for things
that could be anywhere close
to keeping me safe
from the creatures
i have created by yours truly
unbeknowest to me that i have been
drowning myself more

my mouth
can be the drainage
that can empty the ocean
that continues to drown me
even as i write this down,
but i chose to keep it shut
i'm afraid
that if we kiss too long
you will be afraid
and fret
from the taste
of the ocean;
too much salt is bad for your health, after all.