Trepidation | Sitkolson [ C ]

Chapter 16 | Change

The rest of the day consisted of Ryan worrying. Even when he left for work.

It was like a cycle on repeat, and slowly it was killing me. We would get along, then something bad would happen. He'd ignore me, I'd say something, then we're right back at it again. Whether Ryan knew it or not, he was good at repeating events. I wasn't going to let him do it again, though. Slowly but surely, I was getting impatient. As much as I didn't want to get mad at him, because that'd be hypocritical, it was getting hard not to.

The next day, Ryan left for school before I was even awake. He left me a note, much to my surprise, saying that he had a few things he had to do at the garage. I didn't believe it all, but what he had to do was his business. I wasn't going to question him unless he showed up three days later.

First period flew by pretty quick. Kylie wasn't bad to talk to. We caught up on a few things, talked about others. I didn't tell her about Ryan, but she did tell me about Franccesca.

I could tell those two had history. It wasn't hard to see. Kylie was scared of making a move, though, because she didn't want to ruin anything she had with Devin and Josh. It made me realise that if they would get mad at Kylie for dating Franccesca, mad wouldn't even be the right word to use when speaking about Ryan living under the same roof as Devin.

Speaking of Devin, he and I sat alone at lunch. Kylie had a detention, and Josh was at the library. I didn't want to make things awkward, so I decided to start up a conversation. One that hopefully wouldn't lead to Ryan in any way.

"Have you met Jenna's chick?" I asked, taking a bite of my sandwich.

"Lynn?" He questioned, an eyebrow raised, "Yeah, a few months back."

"She cool?"

Devin nodded, shrugging, "Jenna's type, that's for sure."

I finished my mouthful of food before speaking again, "What about you? Have you got anyone on your mind?"

He hesitated before mumbling a small, "I used to... Not anymore."

"Oh.. I'm sorry."

Tying not to seem upset, Devin shook his head, "It's fine," He then offered me a small smile, "What about you? Anyone catch your eye?"

I snorted, "No, definitely not."

"Oh, come on," He grinned like a cheshire cat, leaning forward so he was closer, "No one in this school has caught your attention."

"Well, I mean..." I frowned, "No, not really."

He huffed, falling back in his seat, "You need to have some fun. Do something. Get someone."

I laughed rather sarcastically, "It's fun not having a life. No expectations, no worries."

Devin rolled his eyes, "You won't be saying that in ten years time when you're married and have kids."

"Ew, kids ruin lives," I said, scrunching my nose up.

"And, you say that now."

I never really realised how much fun it was talking to Devin. He was like your typical school girl. It was rather amusing, if you ask me.

At the sound of the bell, Devin sighed, "I have to stay back and help Josh with a few things after school, so I'll probably be home around five."

"Okay," I stood up, "See you then."

He smiled before walking the opposite direction, leaving me to head straight to where I wanted to.

I hadn't seen him in history earlier, and that worried me more than I'd like to admit. I wasn't going to head straight to my next class, but to where Ryan usually was during lunch breaks. Well, he was whenever I saw him there.

"Hey," I sat down next to him, resting my back against the tree.

Ryan looked up from whatever he was reading, "Shouldn't you be in class?"

"Shouldn't you?" I retorted, smirking slightly.

He chuckled and shut his book, "I have a free period."

My small smirk turned to one much bigger, earning a confused glance from Ryan, "Want to go somewhere?"

"Where?" He asked, watching as I stood up.

Shrugging, I grabbed his hand and pulled him up, "We'll see where we end up."

| | |

By the time Ryan had enough of walking, and my feet were killing me, we were at least an hour away from school. The roads weren't as busy here, so it was easier to sit on the side of the road here than it is closer to home.

Ryan may have been quiet ninety per-cent of the time, but he was even quieter today. Maybe he had more on his mind than usual...

I lightly bumped Ryan's shoulder with my own, taking my eyes off of the road, "Are you okay?"

Ryan nodded, leaving it at that.

I was more stubborn than that, though, so I continued, "Something's up, Ryan. You can tell me."

He glanced across the road and at something, his eyes narrowed slightly, "Everything's changing so quick..."

"What do you mean?"

"Like... Almost three weeks ago I told you I didn't want to see you, or anything. I treated you like fucking shit. Then, I ignored you at every cost. I treated you even worse. Now... Now we're like best buds, or something. You're giving me something I don't even deserve. After everything I've done to you, and said to you, you continue to be some fucking... saint, or something."

"Deep," I mumbled, trying to lighten him up.

"I'm serious, Ricky."

"When I said I wanted to be your friend, I meant it," I said, "It's hard having next to no one in your life, and.. I guess I felt bad for you."

Ryan slowly nodded, keeping quiet.

Now, I wasn't against the silence. It was more calming now than it was before. Apart from the occasional cars that passed.

At least twenty minutes passed before Ryan stood up, looking up at the sky with a small frown.

"We should head back before it starts raining."

I looked up, noticing that the clouds were getting more grey, "But my feet hurt."

Ryan groaned at my whining before turning around, bending slightly, "Hop on."

"For real?" My lips turned into a grin, my eyes lighting up.

"Yes, now hurry up."

I jumped up and onto Ryan's back, laughing as he began to speed walk back home.

It was getting easier...