Trepidation | Sitkolson [ C ]

Chapter 30 | Just Believe

Ryan and I walked down the road, our hands entwined. It was well past midnight, and the moon was high in the dark sky.

Yet another two weeks had passed since we first started us. To be honest, I didn't think it was possible to care for him more than I already did. The feeling I got when he looked at me didn't cease, and the energy I felt when his lips were on mine never failed to blow me away. In just over a month, I was starting to fall harder for him.

He was... amazing. The more I saw of him, not the him people talk about, the more I became less convinced that he was truly guilty of... murder.

A part of me still felt incredibly bad, though, for my relations with him when my best friend's had every reason to want to keep me away from Ryan. I don't think I'll ever not feel bad for liking Ryan like I do.

"What're you thinking about?"

I looked up at Ryan, seeing that his eyes weren't on me, but on the barren road ahead. I sighed, "Just... Stuff. School finishes in a few weeks. I don't know whether I should try going to college or not."

Truthfully, I felt bad for lying to him, but it was better than telling him what really ran through my head.

Ryan hummed and nodded, not saying anything else.

Usually, it was quiet between us. There wasn't much to talk about. Ryan didn't like talking about his past more than he had to, even though I knew most about it, and I didn't really like small talk. If I was going to talk to someone, it wasn't going to be off of some lame excuse for a topic.

We continued like that for a few more streets, nothing but the occasional car driving past us. I wouldn't call the silence an awkward silence, because it did feel quite refreshing to simply enjoy his company without ruining it.

A tug on my hand told me that Ryan started to walk in a different direction, and I turned to see that he was leading me towards a park.

I followed, allowing his grip on my hand to lead me closer to the structure.

When he let go of my hand, it was to sit on one of the seats, and I followed suit, sitting on the one next to it. Yet again, it was silent, but, yet again, it was peaceful.

"You know I know what you're thinking, right?"

My gaze drifted from the bark below us to Ryan, a frown setting on my face. "Pardon?"

"You get this look on your face whenever you're thinking too hard about something. I know you weren't thinking about school or college, Ricky."

I cleared my throat and kicked at the bark. "No, I was just... It doesn't matter."

With that, I yawned, and that managed to take Ryan's attention off of the topic and start a new one.

"Tired?"

"Kind of," I mumbled. "I didn't get much sleep last night. Devin and Josh were over."

Ryan nodded and pushed himself up from the swing. "Come on, I'll walk you home."

Taking the hand he offered, I let him guide me back to the path walk before we started our journey back.

| | |

A week later when I got to school, I was more than shocked to see Ryan with blood trickling down his nose.

I was prepared to make my way to him, but he shook his head and turned on the opposite direction. Instead of fighting him on it, I decided to leave him be and advance to Kylie and Josh, who were speaking against some lockers.

"Hey," I greeted and couldn't help myself when I added, "What happened to Ryan?"

Josh didn't look up from his feet as he answered. "Didn't see, but apparently he got jumped by some of the students."

"Which ones?"

He shrugged. "Why?"

Shaking my head, I tried not to look in the direction of Ryan's departure. "No reason. I just... expected him to put up a fight."

The three of us spoke some more, mainly about the dreaded subjects to come, before the bell rung and we split off to our home class.

Through out the day, I expected Ryan to make a surprise appearance during lunch or even in the class we shared, but he didn't. I hadn't realised he left school until I heard a group of students speaking about it.

However, I was more than convinced he'd come and see me either after school or later that night. What I didn't know was that he had been getting into fights more often than not.

Ryan did come to see me that night. And, he was sporting a fresh bruise on his cheek.

He tried telling me it was nothing, but when it started happening more and more, I knew it was far from nothing. There was just nothing I could do about it.