Awakening Encounter

Chapter 3~The Lost Cause

Ashaz Armani (POV)

"At times, your heart will be hollow, not because of the barriers you put around it, but because of the light you don't let to shine through"-Ashaz Armani

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I walked into my house with the smell of onions, chick peas and carrots getting fried as the scent rushes up to meet my nose. I sniff a couple of times to make sure that my smelling sense isn't fooling me, after a couple of more sniffs, I felt a smile creeping up on my lips. This was most definitely Nana Amirah's most famous known Iraqi Biryani, and to say, my favourite dish in the world. I walk through the grand decorated halls and into the kitchen also known as, my stomach's sanctuary. I creep up on Nana from behind and hug her with all my might which results in a shriek from her frail soul. I chuckle at her reaction as she faces towards me reciting Arabic words to calm her beating heart.

"You crazy child! Don't you know not to do that? Subhan'Allah if you want me to die from a heart attack you're doing a very good job. But let me tell you something Azhi, you wont get rid of me that easily" She says in a stern manner wavering her finger at me. By now, I've erupted into a full course of laughter "I've done the best I could bringing you up to this age, and will continue to do so until Allah stops my time on this earth. I made a promise to your mother before she died, and I will live up to my words. Its the least I could do for a beautiful soul like your mother's" She says before returning to marble countertop to chop up the remains of vegetables. At the mention of my mother, my heart sinks into the pit of my chest its made for itself after years of being hurt over and over again. I was prone to this by now, but every time my mother was mentioned, it was as if I was hearing about her for the first time. I guess true love never dies because if anything, my mother meant the world to me. Letting curiosity get to the best of me, I asked Nana.

"Nana, what was Ummi like towards me?" I ask sliding into the stools against the breakfast bar. Nana stops dissecting the chicken she was preparing to season and add to the Biryani. She pauses looking away from me towards the other side of the kitchen with a small smile on her lips and her beautiful green eyes glistening.

"She was the most amazing mother anyone could ask for. Always smiling, always teaching you the proper manners and Duaa, more than anything she lived to see you happy. When you were first born, she made sure to have written letters that you would read on your birthday when you were older. When you would never stop wailing during the night she would cry as well thinking that something was wrong with her nurturing. When you were 3, she would look for the best stores clothes to dazzle you up with, and the best Islamic preschool to help start you on the right note. And she would always brag about your cleverness to the other mothers whose children couldn't do half the things you could" We fall into a ring of laughter before letting the curtains of silence fall again. "Most of all, she would make duaa to Allah to keep you safe on the right path, and be like the companion of the Prophet Muhammad(SAW), because even at a young age, you displayed his virtues" She finished before looking towards me with tears in her eyes. I felt pain all over me and guilt. Knowing that I was far from who my mother aspired me to be like. Coping with the pain like I always did, I buried the thought and denied it. Because in all honesty, denial and death are the only to comforts to disregard pain and guilt.

"Do you need me to do anything for you Nana, or to buy anything?" I ask her before getting up to retrieve to my room.

" Laa. No its fine habibi, I got everything I need but thank you for asking dear" She says before taking my face into her hands and kissing the top of my forehead. "May Allah bless his mercy upon you and make you amongst his beloved" She says before turning back to her cooking.