Stay Strong

[9]

I've screwed up for real this time. Lost my only chance of finding a true friend. I have no idea how to fix things between us and start fresh, because I don't usually apologise to people I bully. I wanna be friends, but I also wanna be more than friends. I'm not the type of guy to really feel love towards someone. Normally I find a pretty girl and make her mine. No first dates or celebrating anniversaries, mostly because you can't have a three day anniversary, and that's how long my relationships last. I don't want to make-up, be friends and hide from her all the time at school and in public. I want to be friends and act like friends. Go out together and hang around in school.

Being a bully is what tore my family apart; so I believe. Being  bullied myself created a terrible childhood. I moved from one school to another in my younger years, until I decided to start a new in this high school. Changed my look and my attitude. Became cool and uncaring. Pushed people away including my family. I haven't seen my brothers and sister in god knows how many years. Three or four now? God how I miss the times I had with my family.

My mom never talks about them- ever. They basically hate me, or else they wouldn't have kicked me out. Sometimes I wonder how my mom had the courage to take me in with her. She didn't see and doesn't see what I do to people. She knows I gave up on school, but none of my family knows half the things I get up to in school.

I toss my phone up in the air and pace around simultaneously. I still have their numbers, should I call them. Maybe Riker, the oldest. That way it can be kept between us two. I click the green phone icon and shakily hold the phone to my ear.

Brring, Brring

Brring, Brring

"Hello?" the voice at the other end says.

"H-Hello, R-riker?" I gulp

"Hello, who is this?" his curious voice wonders.

"It's Ross, Ross Lynch, your uh, brother?" I say with uncertainty

There's a few moments of complete silence...my heart pounds so loud I can barely hear the silence.

"Oh, Ross, hi" he mumbles.

"Look, uh, I know this isn't the person you expected to be speaking to right now, especially after everything that's happened in this family. But. I want to make things right. With the family and me myself. I'm not proud of who I am, and I've seen my wrong doings through a girl. A really amazing girl who I barely know but- the point is...maybe we can meet up somewhere, now, right now?" Nervously biting my nails and pacing about in my room, I wait anxiously for his reply.

"Sure, I'll text you the address of my nearest park and we can meet there" he tells me.

"Ok, bye bro- I mean Riker"

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I was bored so I hope this has made you guys happy :)