Tattoo || Joshler

March To The Sea

*Chapter 17*

I could hear.

I couldn't see.

I could feel, but not the pain.

I could hear the voices in the room, chatting or crying or sleeping.

I could hear my sisters.

I could hear my mum, dad, brothers, and I could even hear my friends.

I could hear Josh talking quietly or crying, I could hear Brendon and Dallon comforting him and my family.

I even heard Ashley, and some other girls voice that I couldn't recognise.

This was my family.

I was so grateful to have these people in my life.

I could only see black.

I would sometimes see visions, of my life, or of other things.

I saw images forming of ideas I had for what music videos would look like to the songs I wrote.

I saw my ideas.

I couldn't feel the pain.

My body was numb.

But I could feel the cold, salty tears on my hands or arms, I could feel people rubbing my arms or legs, I could feel people holding my hands but sometimes when I knew only Josh was in the room, I would feel drops on my face along with a soft feeling on my lips that made me crave more.

But I couldn't.

I was trapped in a seemingly endless darkness.

A spiral on nothingness with nowhere to go.

This was driving me insane.

I wanted to see.

I wanted to talk.

I wanted to assure everyone that I was okay.

Mostly, I wanted to return Josh's kisses and make him stop crying.

It pained me to know he was sad.

It pained me to know he was crying.

It pained me to even imagine that Josh would be hurting himself.

All because of me.

Out of everyone I heard, I was pretty certain Josh had cried the most.

I wouldn't blame him.

Josh was my boyfriend after all.

All I wanted was to wake up and pretend this was just a horrible nightmare.

But I couldn't.

I couldn't escape the darkness.

I didn't know how long I had been in this state.

All sense of time was gone, and I didn't understand why it happened to me.

Which then made me then wonder.

Did Josh ever get his gift?

Was it ever found in the wreckage?

Did he see mine?

Will I even survive this?

*Yo! This chapter is a little short sorry but it's just a little filler from Tyler's side. Also I'm a bit upset since I'm like a week it's my 16th and all my friends said they didn't want to come to that sucks but oh well.

•safe place to rant and talk•

~XOjay
[Edited: 22 February, 2018]