chapter 13

13 3 3

by polarizingruby

by polarizingruby

"I've made up my mind and I decided we can start over. I don't know my heart is telling me to stay with you but my brain says no. So I hope I dont regret this." Josh looked up with a smile big and wide. He grabbed Tyler and pulled him in for a big hug. "No you'll never regret this! I love you Tyler."

Tyler stood quiet for a bit. Josh gets up and turns his head to the side. "Do you not love me?" Josh said holding back his tears. Tyler turns his head away from Josh looking out the window. "Of course " he told Josh quietly but really talking to himself.

Time jump. 1 week.

Tyler's p.o.v

Ever since the hospital Josh has been acting funny. He never comes to my dorm anymore. He only texts me. Whenever we are in classes he never sits next to me. I still see him but I don't see him. I miss him.

I walk up the extra flight of stairs going up to Josh's dorm.

I knock on the door hoping hes there and he isnt at work. Not Josh but the other Josh opens the door.

"Sup dude."

"Sup J. Where's Josh?"

"Oh hold on- JOSH TYLER IS HERE!"

I hear a mmhm come from the room. J signals me in and Josh walks out of the bathroom with a tooth brush in his mouth. "Dude its like 5 pm" I laugh. "Yeah well J and I were playing that Jelly bean thing." We laughed.

"So what are you doing here Ty?" Josh questioned after spitting out his toothpaste. "Well I have to talk to you. Is that okay right now?" I hope its ok. "Yeah sure. Wanna talk at the park?" Josh said putting his shirt back on. I nodded my head.

   ***

   We walked in the park quietly. We weren't even holding hands. I don't know if that makes me clingy but I miss it.

Josh stops at a bench and I follow. We sit there in silence for a minute.

"So what do you want to talk about?"

I look down into my palms. I open my mouth unable to get the words out.

"Ever since I our conversation at the hospital. You've been acting funny."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean you dont sit with me in class, you dont hang out, you don't hold my hand. And I just feel like you dont love me anymore. I feel like you look at me different now because I hurt myself for loving you." I can't believe I snapped on Josh but hes just sitting there quietly and he cant look at me. Of course I messed it all up. Like always.

"Say something Joshua"

"Tyler, I thought you need tim-"

"Time for what? Time from my boyfriend when I need him when I get out of the hospital?" I started to cry now. Josh turned to me and took my hands. I try to look away but I can't.

"Tyler, Im sorry. I'm a crappy boyfriend. I just want you to be as happy as possible."

I jump up and pull Josh into a hug. I start sobbing into his shoulder. I wish I wasnt a mess. "Josh you're my everything."

Josh laughed "I guess Ty"

Ok so they are going to be in snl tonight omg Im crying so hard rn.