The Mistakes We Made

Part V

About half an hour later, they lay in the aftermath of their passionate love making, the bedsheets a tangled mess around their still heavily breathing bodies.

"So this is what you're supposed to do in a cold, rainy night, huh?", Stevie said eventually, causing Lindsey to turn his head and look at her, "God, I.. I really thought I was sort of closed up for business. That that was it, you know. That this chapter of my life was forever over. I never expected... this." She was openly crying, now.

Lindsey grasped her hand, "Believe me, nothing's ever surprised me more."

By the sound of his voice, she heard that he was fighting tears, as well. A look into his eyes confirmed the feeling.

"God, Lindsey..", Stevie sobbed, slowly shaking her head. She was completely overwhelmed by the situtation she was facing.

"Come here..", he muttered and held his hand out for her, "Come here, Steph."

Stevie rolled right into his embrace, him pulling her tiny body even closer to his chest by enveloping her in his strong, protective arms. Lindsey then placed numerous kisses all over her forehead and hair, he wanted her to feel loved.

"It's been so long since you called me that..", she said quietly.

"'Steph'?"

"Yeah.", she nodded.

"You know why I couldn't though, don't you?", he was referring to being married for so many years.

Stevie nodded again, more tears escaping her eyes, "I know. That's why it's so beautiful to hear you saying it again."

"I love saying it.", Lindsey said softly, "And I love the whole package that comes with it."

That caused Stevie to smile through her tear-stained vision, "Me, too."

It didn't take very long after that, and she heard Lindsey lightly snoring. The sex had worn him out. She carefully lifted her head up and looked at his sleepy face. Stevie had almost forgotten how peaceful he looked when he was sleeping. She smiled, lay back down on his chest and placed a few loving kisses on his bare skin, quickly falling asleep to the sound of his heartbeat.

-

When Stevie openend up her eyes the next morning, she turned around and found Lindsey's side of the bed to be empty. Instantly, waves of insecurity washed over her. Clutching the blanket to her chest, she sat up and looked around. His clothes were still gathered all over the floor.

"Li-Lindsey?", Stevie called out for him, hating how wimpy her voice sounded.

"Still here!", she heard his familiar voice coming from the bathroom, "I just needed to use the toilet.", Lindsey explained on his way back to bed.

Stevie couldn't help but stare at his stark naked body, not having seen him like that for so long.

"You like what you see?", he teased, having witnessed her stare, while climbing back into bed.

"Maybe..", she smirked.

He laughed and pulled her to his chest, "Do I get a good morning kiss?"

She tilted her head into his direction and pecked him briefly on the lips.

"More!", Lindsey insisted. He cradled her face in his hands and invaded her mouth, very slowly and romantically brushing tongues. His kiss had Stevie melting right into his arms.

"Did you think I left you behind?", he asked, pulling back some and looking into her eyes.

"For a brief moment, yes.."

"Why would you think that?"

"It happened to me before.", she admitted, not meeting his eyes, the memory hurt.

Lindsey nodded understandingly and pressed a kiss to her forehead, pulling Stevie half on top of him, one hand tangled in her long, blonde curls. He wanted to have her as close to him as possible.

"I missed seeing you like this.", he said after awhile, "Make-up free and with messy hair."

Stevie looked up at him and chuckled sightly, "No, you didn't."

"Yes, I did.", he said again, softly touching the side of her face while looking into her eyes, "I missed the real you. The Stephanie-you. The one who opens up to me. The one who lets me hold her.."

Stevie teared up by his words. Lindsey smiled and placed another kiss on her lips, "It feels so good to have you in my arms like that.. So right."

She nodded and closed her eyes, what Lindsey was saying was affecting her deeply, "I've never heard you talking like this before..", she said, "So gentle and sensitive.."

"I wish I did. It could have changed a lot of things..", he was referring to their past again.

Stevie shook sadly her head, "Please, don't. I don't want to talk about this again.."

They fell into silence, mindlessly caressing and kissing each other.

"Last night was beautiful.", Lindsey said eventually.

"Yes, it was.", Stevie answered, anxiously awaiting his next sentence. When he didn't say anything, she spoke up again, "What does it mean for us, though?"

"Well, what does it mean to you?", Lindsey asked back, "Or rather, what do you want it to mean for us?"

"I-I don't know..", she stuttered, caught off guard by his questions, "I don't think it is my place alone to decide what last night meant."

"What is it that you fear the most, Stephanie?", Lindsey sighed, "Is it that I could possibly want more? That I'd want more than just one night with you? Are you afraid to lose your independence?"

"No..", she shook her head.

"Or are you more afraid that that was it? That we spent one night together and won't see each other again until we're back on the road in six months?"

"I-I guess, it's both.", she admitted and looked at him, "I am afraid we'll try and fail miserably and the friendship we worked so hard on the past twenty years will fall apart again."

"But Stevie, we crossed that line last night, already. There is no going back to how things were before. At least, not for me."

"We had sex.", she said matter-of-factly.

"Sex?!", Lindsey repeated her words, furrowing his brow, "No, that wasn't just sex. We made love, Stevie. We made the most beautiful love last night. And I- I don't want it to end like this.. I felt things with you..", he cradled her face and looked into her eyes, "Things I haven't felt in so many years. Things I cannot remember to have ever experienced with anyone but you."

His words caused her eyes to tear up again, her bottom lip started to tremble, "I felt those things, too."

"Then, let me in.", Lindsey pleaded with her.

"I want to, Lindsey, really I do, but I'm so afraid.", Stevie sobbed, caressing the side of his face.

"Why?"

"Because I know if we don't work out, I'll never get over you again."