The Mistakes We Made

Part VI

"But what if we do work out?", Lindsey asked, "Would you risk missing out on something so beautiful just because you're afraid?!"

"You know us, Lindsey. We're like fire and gasoline. We'd push each other's buttons non-stop, we'd kill each other!", Stevie tried to reason with him.

"Do you remember how our life together used to be? Back then, in that tiny apartment in LA?", Lindsey said softly while he played with one of Stevie's golden hair strands.

"Of course, I do.", she sighed.

"Were you happy back then? I mean despite our financial problems, were you happy with me?"

"You know I was."

"Did you love me?"

"Lindsey..."

"Did you?"

"Yes, I did. Of course, I did."

"Then, what are you so afraid of?", Lindsey asked.

Stevie bit her lip, "Are you aware that you're the only man I've ever lived with?"

Lindsey looked quizzically at her, "Are you serious?!"

"After you, I never let anybody come that close to me again. And I- I am afraid that I'm completely incompatible to be with. I haven't had a relationship in almost two decades. And the ones I did have before, did not last longer than maybe one or two years nor were they monogamous.", Stevie looked at Lindsey, "What I'm trying to say here, Linds, I- I am so afraid that you want to be with me, get your hopes up and then you get to know the real me and..-"

"That's not going to happen!", Lindsey interrupted her.

"How can you say that?!"

"Because I already know the real you!"

"I'm a fucking control freak, Lindsey!", Stevie blurted out.

"I know. You've always been a control freak, Stevie. And guess what?! It doesn't make me love you any less!", Lindsey said, looking at a wide-eyed Stevie, "Yes, you heard me right. For forty years, I tried to bury my feelings for you, to forget you, to finally get over you, but it took me only one night to fall right back in love with you."

"Lindsey.."

"No, listen to me, Stevie. We never really got a chance again to try because I was either married, or one of us was with someone else or you were drugged-up or in rehab.. But I want this second chance with you! Without drugs, without other people interfering, and without one of us manipulating it! Don't you think we owe it to our younger selves to at least give it a try?"

Stevie was completely torn between what her heart wanted and what her common sense told her to do. Everything Lindsey was saying made sense and she wanted so desperately to believe him but she had doubts still.

"What if we can't stop fighting, Lindsey? What if you'll be your usual chaotic self and I'll be acting like a mad woman? What if we won't be able to agree on anything? What if-"

"Oh, Stevie," Lindsey chuckled, he found her flushed cheeks and agitated mind to be so sweet, it was obvious that she was actually considering to give their love a second chance, "But this is what relationships are about! You fight, you argue, you compromise, then have incredible make-up sex and do it all over again."

"Gosh, you see how long it's been for me?", she said, "I don't even remember the simplest things about being with someone.. This plan is destined to fail, already."

"It's not, Steph. That's no problem at all.", he placed a kiss on her nose, "We'll take it slowly, one step at a time."

"Tell me, Lindsey, what is it that you expect from me?, she asked him, "Because I need you to know that I won't stop working. I need my job."

"And that's totally fine with me. I don't want you to quit your job, Steph. I just want us to give it a try.", he said softly, "I am not going to push you. I am not going to move in with you today, and force you to marry me tomorrow. I don't want to rush this. I want to make this right for once."

"So..?", she still wasn't entirely sure what he meant.

"We'll give this time, see how it's working out. I'll take you out on a date, if you want to.", he said, caressing her hair, "We can hop on a plane and go somewhere beautiful or I can just come by and spend time with you, whatever you want."

"That sounds good, I guess..", Stevie admitted.

"See, I'm not expecting you to give up your current life for me, Stevie. It's just that I think.. Well, we're both lonely and we obviously still have feelings for each other. Why don't we just try to find out where that is going to take us?"