Above are the images of Sarah's grandmother ( we'll call her Yvonne Xavier since I never mentioned her name) and her grandfather ( John-Peter Xavier)
Today was L-day, most call it D-day but I enterprit the D as due or death and in this case I was leaving so L-day it was, although it could also be called M-day in which case the M is move but I think that's just ridiculous. Alec was actually looking upset for the first time since he arrived. It brought me great pleasure to see his mouth not running a mile a minute. I could get use to the silence.
"Hey why don't you go say bye to Serena? Since you've only got five hours left here and you might not be able to later..." Alec bent over to put away one of the souvenirs, which I got while I was here obviously ,into a bag. His eyes held a thousand sorrows as he was packing all of my stuff away, I could almost believe that he was sad to see me leave if I didn't know any better.
"You know I think that's the single most intellectual thing you've said since I've met you." I cleared my throat and proceeded to help him pack away my things. He laughed a deep laugh, and I have to say it was nice to see him smile , even if I did hate him with everything in me, then his eyes settled solely on me and he stopped moving. "I'm really going to miss you, Princess." He seemed to tear up a little. As if him uttering those words ignited some sort of sadness. "I wish I could say the same, Maggot."
I put down the last item and walked out the door, deciding it would be best if I did just say my goodbyes.
********
"Come on, you can't honestly be mad at me?" I couldn't honestly believe what I was saying myself. I went down to Serena's stall and she wasn't there, I was told by one of the stable boys that she and the other horses were in the field. I thanked him and came down to find her. When I eventually found her, Serena refused to look at me ,as if in her sick and twisted mind she could tell I was leaving. And her thoughts to that were, 'If I don't acknowledge her or let her say goodbye, she'll have no choice but to stay forever. ' Cue the creepy neighing and imitation of laughter, or at least that's what I saw in my mind.
So for the past half an hour, I had been running in circles just to get her to look at me and so far nothing, not even a bat of her eyelash, she refused to acknowledge that I was leaving and for that I was proud and ashamed. Proud because she had my attitude and ashamed because she had my attitude. I now regret not listening to lá Abuela. "Serena, please would you just look at me?" She turned turned her head slightly, then whinied and went back to munching.
"Serena, please, this could be the last time I see you... And it could be for a long while. " Her ears twitched at my words, as if in her mind she was saying, 'You may attempt to persuade me, two-legger. '
"I know you're upset with me and you don't want me to leave but I have no choice. This isn't my decision, it's not my decision I can make alone. There are other people I need to consider now and they miss me , just as much as you use to miss me, I need to go back to them. To my boyfriend. " Serena turned around and started toward me. When her face came into contact with mine, she let her head fall and rest against my chest. I decided to rub between her ears, just to do something. "I am truly going to miss you, and if ever I get the chance, I will find a way to bring you with me, no matter where I go."
She looked up into my eyes, her melting chocolate eyes filled with more emotion than a horse should be capable of. Her eyes held sadness, love, regret, and longing. She shouldn't be able to feel that and yet she does, she truly is a creature worth of admiration. Her eyes held a silent promise. Like she was telling me I had better keep my promise or else. I loved this horse with all my heart. I closed my eyes and held her face to mine. "Until we meet again, Serena Xavier." With a kiss between her ears, I was gone. I walked away with love in my heart and Serena staring lovingly at my back, at least I think it was with love.
********
Back inside the house, I slumped down against a door and curled up into a ball. I just wanted to be gone, without anymore pain or surprises. Then I heard voices. "Yes, well the job is good and there hadn't been a lot of danger lately. Speaking of danger how have you been, Mom?" Mom?! You mean lá Abuela? This had to be a mistake, the only person who called my grandmother mom was my father and he was currently in Arabia.
"Yes, everything's been wonderful, except for Sarah, she's been so upset. I was hoping you two could catch up, that is if you're okay with dropping her off?"
"No, Mom, it's fine. I would like to spend some time with her." Okay I couldn't handle the hiding anymore, I stepped out and saw him, mí papi. "Hello, Father."Grandmother and Father both turned, looking quite surprised to see me standing there. He looked exactly the same as he did five years ago. He still had that clean short cut black hair, the same blue eyes and the same perfect face my mom fell for. But he wasn't the same to me. The father I knew always had a smile, this man looked as if he hadn't smiled a day in his life.
"I'd like to go now..."
********
We were on our way to Oklahoma airport. This ride I didn't call Fantasia, I didn't look out the window, I didn't even try to make conversation with him . We rode in silence and all I did was stare at my feet. I just noticed, I actually have very strange toes. Seriously they curled into my shoes. Later I'll have to post on Darkbook, #strange toes, am I right or what?
"So how you been?"
"Fine. "
"How's your mother? "
"Fine. "
"And school?"
"Fine. "
"I heard you got a boyfriend?"
"Yes. "
"What's his name?" Answering him would require more than one syllable, so I decided to continue staring at my toes. "Look ,Sarah, I know you're mad but can't we at least try and make some sort of ...sign of progression. " Still feeling upset, and just to annoy him further, I reply with a fine, once again."Sarah, what do you want?"
"I want a dad who's a part of my life. I want a father who's there when I need him. I want a dad to hand me over to my prom date, is that too much? But no, the type of father I got was the workaholic kind. "He sighed loudly and pulled into a parking space at the airport, "What do you want?"
"Excuse me?"
"What can I give you to fix this?"
I opened the door to the car and proceeded to take out my luggage. "Be a part of my life... And find a way for Serena to stay with me. Then I'll consider building our relationship. Until both of those happen, I'm afraid you can kiss your only daughter goodbye."With a wave of my head I left him standing there in shock. I am sad to admit it but the little girl he left behind is gone. She's been replaced with a shell and a mask.
But no one sees that.
Hey so I know I already did a chapter thirty five but I felt I needed to add a chapter with Sarah's goodbye and a new arrival .
1. Why is Alec upset?
2. Anyone like Serena, the wise?
3. What is the tension between Sarah and dad about?
Lovesick
FUERA!!!!
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