SAFE

Alissa Pov  

I walk down the street as I feel the cold air coming up my back. It was only 6:30 yet it look as if it were midnight, but that's a normal winter. I see a black van pass, you know the ones that always hide the movie stars or rock stars, one of those kinds of vans. It comes around again but now it's picking up speed, the van stops and I walk faster. I feel the cold air coming up my back, then I feel the warmth of hands, first around my waist gentle like a friend trying to make you feel safe. Then hands around my arms and legs, I whine as the hands of more than one person rub over my freshly cut wrist. I scream as another person is trying to calm me down I hear his voice it's a guy their all guys. I look him deep into his eyes and softly say, my-My wrist. He looks to me and says"sorry Love we forgot ", Forgot how could he forget last I knew no one had known of my cutting I say this in my head. He sounded truly sorry they let go of my wrist but still have good hold of me. They put me in the van and we speed away. " Your safe, We're not going to hurt you" , Then why have you FUCKING taken me!!?? I ask in anger " We know about that little thing you do with your wrist!" someone says in anger as well this boy I remember his voice from somewhere.

--------------------* Two Months Before*---------------- I walk down the hall I feel the people stare, I've never really been one to fit in but I sure as hell do stand out. I'm a bigger girl ( not too big like mid size), Mexican black hair mid long, brown eyes long eye lashes and I always seem to be wearing black. See how my looks stand out in a crowed of only black and white I'm what people would like to call Gothic ,Emo or a target for bullying, but I've always just been me plain old Alissa who cares what the Fuck anyone calls if I know who I am what does it matter. I walk to my writing class and I slowly read the poem I wrote

FEELING

It's the feeling that makes you want to scream but you can't.  

The feeling that makes you think your scared but your not.  

The feeling between happy and sad. The feeling that is the difference between Your Life or Death.

The feeling so fucked up they made a word for it, The feeling that is my pain and sorrow. It is the one and only Depression.

I look at my writing and smile I don't really like to talk but I seem to be really good with words. I then feel a hot breath on my neck, I look over and see it's Matt. Matt has been bullying me ever since Freshmen year when I told him I wouldn't date him nor have sex with him on the down low as he would say, just to see him makes me sick. He slowly turns to me.

Matt-" Ohh the poor baby has Depression, why don't just go down on me that might make you feel better!"

Alissa- Fuck you Matt piss off, go ask your fucking boyfriend to he seems to like that!

Matt-" You little slut why would I do that when I know how much you enjoy it!"

Alissa- Oh your so right Matt, but how about this time you SUCK MY DICK (I say as loud as I can to make everyone hear) 

Matt- " You better watch your back Fat Ass! "

Matt walks away but there are still people holding their stares, I really do make myself stand out. I know I seem all big and bad but what people say sometimes gets to me . I walk to the bathroom and pull up my sleeve I take out the razor I had hid, I push the razor to my skin and slowly pull then push. I start to pull faster and let the whole razor cut my wrist,the faster I pull the more blood I see. I clean myself up with my cutter kit ( Razors Bad-aids wipes etc) and put up that smile that oh so fake.

I have hid my cutting since 5th grade to me it is helpful almost beautiful, well it makes me feel better. I slowly make my way to my locker I see Luke an old friend, well he was my only friend, the only one that make me forget how ugly some people could be. Luke use to come behind me grab my waist I'd feel the warmth of his hands and he'd make me feel safe,Safe from all the hate and bullying, Safe from myself when I was with him I didn't have to cut I didn't want to. Luke left school when The Janoskians took off, all the girls became too much for him, I think I'm one of the only girls that doesn't see him in that way like a piece of meat or something. I run over to him and try to get a hug but I feel like he forgot about me because all he said when i went to hug him was

Luke- Hi are you a fan or something? 

Alissa- Uuhh no I'm Alissa, don't you remember me? we were best friends.

As we talk a group of girls form around us he looks like to them like they are going to tell him what to say and then he looks to me and with the pain filled in my heart we finished talking

Luke- Sorry I don't know you, Maybe you just think you know me? I mean this was my old school 

His words cut into me as I say my last words to this boy I 'Once knew' 

Alissa- Yea maybe, I just thought I knew you

I run out and go home, I can't believe he doesn't remember me but then again I'm always forgotten. I go to bed and lay my head down and slowly sob it's hard for me to show my weaker side. What's going on I know he remembers me he told me he would no matter what. Why did he come back,  

why can't he just remember, REMEMBER ME