SAFE

First Cut

Luke's pov

I can't picture Alissa cutting herself, what has made her so mad that she would take it out on herself. I hold her close to my chest as I take her into the house, I feel as if everything she has done is all my fault. I left her, and it kills me. I care for Alissa too much to let her fall so far. I want to know how this started, No I Need To Know. But I have to let Alissa get some rest it's been a long day. I slowly lay Alissa down on Beau's bed, I try to walk out when Alissa pulls me down. " PLEASE, don't leave me alone" I would never, I say as I lay next to Alissa trying keep space between us, as she gets closer and gently lays her head on my chest. She did this all the time before. she would say       " The sound of your heart keeps me calm and being with you keeps me safe" Ohh how I wish I could turn back the clock and go back to those days. I miss her smile and her laugh .I love this girl, NO  I can't love her at least no more than a friend should. I don't, I can't, I won't I'm so unsure of my feelings I just want Alissa safe.

Alissa's pov

I wake up laying on Luke he makes me feel so safe, NO I can't get close to him again. I flinch and pull away fast as he tries hard to pull me back next to him.

Luke- what's wrong?

Alissa- This is wrong all of this!

Luke- You asked me to sleep with you?

Alissa- I know, I know but can't you see how wrong it is it can't be like this anymore!!!

Luke- why can't it be like this?

Alissa- because it's different Now let me go!

Luke- it doesn't have to be, we're not letting you go!

Alissa- Fine what do you want to know?

Luke- Tell me how it started, Please

Alissa- okay it all started when I was in the fifth grade

-------------------------------------------- 7 years ago 5th grade------------------------------------------------------------

I lay my head into my hands as I hear them fight, mom said she was going to leave again but she might really do it this time. I can't stress about that now I fix my hair and start walking to school, I hate school I make good grades but it's not enough. I get bullied a lot, but none of that really brings me down it's the fact that i start believing it. See I lost my feelings for myself I couldn't be sad if I wanted to, i started this thing i like to do it a lot I cut on my arms and legs it makes me feel again. When I do it I feel myself living again, like I'm alive for once. No one knows of my cuts they are my power in this life. I do it when ever I can, even in school. 

----------------------------------------------------End of Flash Back---------------------------------------------------------- 

Alissa- I don't really how it started but in my head it never stopped

Luke- I'm so sorry

Alissa- NO,don't be sorry Please 

Alissa's Pov

I shared this part of me with Luke, I don't want him to feel bad for me I don't need that not from him. I want to leave i want to be free from the boys and from myself. Luke hugs me and I start to slowly sob I don't think he heard because he doesn't move i hold him back, But he can't make me happy I have to try to make myself happy I know this. I pull myself close to his chest to hear his heart, I look up and see him smile.

Luke- It's just like old times

Alissa- yeah, you still have that way of making me feel safe

Luke's Pov

Alissa trusts me with her past I just want her happy and safe. When I hold her and she comes close to my chest, i feel so scared and happy my heart go's faster and i can't breath. I hope we get close again I want it to be Just like Before.......