The Whole Thing

The Part With The Present

Noel never even considered love when he thought about his old home. Most people did. People thought of love when they thought of home because 'home is where the heart is' and it was usually where loved ones resided.

Yet when Julian put his hands over his eyes and lead him somewhere, double-checking corridors and doorways hoping no-one would witness their inappropriate contact and he removed his hands to reveal Noel's own cell where he had been just that morning and Julian exclaimed...

"It's yours. Yours only. You have no cellmate anymore"

...he thought of love. The cell was his new home and Julian... The feeling scared the shit out of him.

"What? Why? How?"

Noel was utterly confused, ignoring the burning feeling in his heart as he playfully hit Julian's shoulder.

"The 'what' consists of you being cellmate free. Why, because I figured you'd like to live in peaceful solitude for the rest of your life and how, I'm the head of security, that's how"

The rest of your life. Now Noel was really burning. He sat on the edge of his bed which had converted from bunks to a single and he gripped the mattress. He tried to look happy for Julian but that daunting realisation was crushing him. Julian didn't seem to notice.

"I had to get you something. I wanted to, needed to. You've been, well, you've been brilliant lately. No fights, no getting me into trouble with Dolly, fantastic sex. So, I cleared it with the Warden and got you this"

Julian was grinning from ear to ear. Noel was trying not to throw up but still giving the man half-hearted smiles.

"Your cell-mate was dodgy anyway. Rich Fulcher, I know he's your friend but he's dodgy"

"Don't say that"

"Sorry"

"It's alright, 'spose"

Julian sat next to him on the bed. He seemed hesitant about what he would say next. Noel released his grip a little and soften his eyes so Julian would feel more welcome to express himself.

"I really want to kiss you"

"What?!"

His grip retightened.

"I won't. I'm not an idiot"

Noel looked to his feet and Julian twiddled his thumbs.

"I just want to know what it'd be like" Julian continued, "I've been thinking a lot lately"

"Thinking is dangerous"

Julian smiled at Noel but Noel didn't want to look him in the eye.

"Anyway, what I feel when I'm with you... I can't explain it. It's different. It's different to anything else. Most of the time I can't think of anything else but sinking my teeth into your neck. It's like claiming you, branding you with the purple, blue, yellow decorations on your skin. I can't get enough of it"

"You can have it whenever you want, sir"

Noel wanted to shift the atmosphere back to sex. He stared Julian deep in the eyes as he placed his hand on his lap and started inching upwards. Yet it was a dream short lived as Julian grabbed his hand and held it. They were holding hands. Noel was going to start sweating.

"That's not the point"

Julian tried not to smirk, finding Noel's desperation somewhat adorable.

"You're everything I look for in a person. Blue eyes. Funny. Sexy"

"Mass murderer"

"You're innocent"

"Sure"

"I've never wanted someone more than I've wanted you. So I wanted to kiss you. I just wanted to know what it'd be like"

Now Julian was looking deep into Noel's eyes. Noel panicked and removed his hand from Julian's.

"I don't kiss"

Noel got up and stormed to the cell door. He paused and looked back for a split second to speak.

"I'm sorry"

He left in just as much of a hurry as the words he spoke.

Julian sat on the bed feeling strange. He knew the criminal wouldn't kiss him but it was worth a shot. If you never asked, the answer would always be 'no'. So he had to ask, hoping the present would be the sugar he swallowed the medicine down with.

He stood up and as he turned around his eyes fell on markings on the wall. He examined them and drew a deep sigh. Noel really was just a criminal and Julian should not have gotten so attached.