The Whole Thing

The Part With Julian's Son

He tried not to rush down the hospital corridor but he found himself stumbling. He kept getting distracted by how the lights above his head kept flickering and how sweaty his palms were.

He knew this day would come. His son was diagnosed with cystic fibrosis two days after he was born and they had savoured every second with him. Julian had until four years ago anyway. However, Julian knew there was no cure for the illness and that although treatment would slow the progression of the disease, one day his body would reject treatment altogether and the disease would consume his son altogether.

He got to room 203 and stood at the open door way. He felt both relieved and terrified to see his baby boy alive in his bed but looking like all the life had been drained from him. His mother stroked his blonde hair as his twin sat by his bedside showing him games on his phone. They all were smiling but the only difference was his mother had tears in her eyes.

"Julia" Julian eventually said.

All three of them whipped their head to the door and the twins' faces lit up.

"Dad!"

The healthy one dropped his phone on the bed and ran over to hug Julian. He lifted him off the ground and buried his face into his neck and took a deep breath. He was so big now. Julian had missed his family so much. He was surprised they even recognised him.

He put his son on his ground and patted his head. He bit his tongue as Julia approached him and gave him a hug too. She still smelt the same.

"Thank you for coming"

"Thank you for telling me"

//.              

"Those things will kill you"

It was cold outside the hospital as Julia offered Julian a cigarette. She rolled her eyes and tucked it back into her packet. She tried a few times to light her own cigarette but the wind kept blowing it back out. Julian could see her on the brink of aggravation so he helped her out. Eventually she was sucking all the vile toxins into her body and exhaling it back into the cold air.

"Why are you all here in America? Why didn't you keep Walter in England? Wouldn't he rather die at home?"

"Don't be so heinous when talking about our child" She growled but quickly recollected herself, "Cincinnati just happened to have an elite CF centre for children. One of the best in America, no, the world. We came here a year ago, the same time I started writing to you, as soon as he started getting worse but I left that part out until I knew it was his time. We've tried everything. He even had a lung transplant but the disease returned quicker than expected. He doesn't want to keep trying anymore. Our ten year old boy does not want to live like this anymore"

Julia burst into tears and dropped her cigarette. Julian quickly took the shaking woman into his arms and she folded into his chest. As she convulsed and muttered words of comfort and support but even he was on the verge of tears. He had wasted four years on Noel Fielding instead of being with his sick child and his heartbroken wife.

She broke away after a while and wiped her tears away. She mumbled soft apologies but he refused to accept them. There was no need to apologise, she had every right to feel the way she did. It was obvious after lighting her second cigarette she didn't wish to talk about the fate of her son anymore.

"How's the murderer?"

Julian scoffed at that and decided to take her up on her cigarette offer. His sudden interest made her laugh too.

"That bad?"

"I'm here, aren't I?"

"You wouldn't be here for your son if things were okay?"

He frowned and shrugged his shoulders. He wasn't sure of that answer.

"I'm sick of being a fugitive. I'm sick of him being the only person I can interact with. I can't even have a single friend"

"You should stay here for a while... The hospital isn't going to recognise you, they'll be too busy catering to Walter to realise who you are. It's not like you're in the media anymore, that died out after a year of you being on the run. Plus I doubt it was really big in America anyway... When we're not here, we're in the hotel across the street. You're always welcome and you'll find it easy to seek interaction... with me or the twins"

She was smiling at him now and it made him a little uneasy. After how horrible he was, after the massive fight they had about his affair and him falling in love with not only a man but a criminal, an apparent murderer... It was insane to think her arms were still wide open to accept him back into the family.

"Thanks, Julia"

"Call me Jules like you used to"

There was a twinkle in her eye.

//

Julian had accidentally fallen asleep in the plastic chair by Walter's bed. He had insisted Julia and Arthur get a good night sleep as they had been sleeping in the hospital the past three nights. He promised he wouldn't leave Walt's side.

"Dad?" He had croaked which woke Julian up immediately.

"What's up?"

He swiftly moved closer to the bed and placed a hand on his arm. The little boy smiled and it was infectious.

"Can you read me a bed time story?"

"It's way past your bed time, kiddo"

"I know" He whined, "But it's been so long since you last read to me"

Julian gulped and drew a deep sigh.

"Where can I find a book?"

Walter weakly raised his spare hand to point at some drawers underneath the closed window. Julian stumbled over and stumbled back with the first thing from the pile. He asked Walter to move over on the bed so he could hop in and cuddle up to him. Walter laid his head on his father's chest and shut his eyes as he began to tell the story of a big, black dog.

When the story finished, Julian asked if he wanted to read another but Walter had fallen fast asleep. He was holding onto him so tight.  It made him smile. It made him smile until it made him cry. He tried so hard not to let his gross sobbing wake his son who desperately needed the rest. What had his life become?