Rejected By My Mate

16

"I did the best I can Evie, but... I dunno." Emelie pulled her mouth to the side and looked to Evelyn who sighed.

She spun me around to face the mirror, and I was overjoyed! I looked amazing. My brown hair was over bleached and fried white, my makeup made a racoon that just got off prostitution duty and the powder on my cheeks was so dark it made me look a bit like a leper.

Not that I knew what that was.

"I love it!" I shrieked. Emelie and Evelyn exchanged horrified looks and snickered.

"That's great!" Emelie beamed. "Okay, now let's go find you a--" she was cut off when a figure, shrowded in darkness in the broad daylight, broke through her window.

"Excuse me is this the house in which Peaches Freeberry Jane happens to-"

I cut off the shadowy figure who was now revealed to be a tall, olive skinned, perfect bodied, half naked stud staring down at us. "Um, that would be me." I rose a hand, waving like I was the queen.

"That... this ugly thing is... oh god." the man rubbed his face and sighed, leaning against the wall. "Geez, I just feel bad for her now."

"Oh for bleeps sakes! Confess your love and adoration for the little bleeper or shoot her, let's get this show on the road already." Evelyn yelled, clearly frustrated.

The man shifted, seemingly uncomfortable and dropped to his knees. "Solely out of pity for your hideousness, I am in love with you."

"I know you are. Oh, and by the way? You're wrong and you need to get your eyes checked. This," I circled my face with my fingers. "Is the hottest thing you'll ever lay eyes on."

The man looked dismayed. He hung his head and nodded. "I'll prove my love to you yet, Peaches Freeberry Jane."

"Oh, uh, by the way? What's your name?" Emelie tilted her head.

"Assassino Monteguera."

"That sounds borderline racist?" the model looked confused.

"I'm actually Italian, I think it's fine."

"Oh, alright." the blonde girl bobbed. "Cool!"