Rejected By My Mate

24

"So what's the Rider James jealousy plan?"

"Obv you text him a pic of Kyle biker and say I just had sex with Kyle Biker. Duh." Emelie rolled her eyes. She was staring at Assassino's perfectly chiseled everything that wasn't good enough for me.

"We're bleeping missing something. As per bleeping usual." Evelyn grunted. She slapped Jimmy Falcon and Assassino across the face.

"What the bleep?" Jimmy Falcon yelled, surprised when his curse came out as a bleep. "What the everloving bleep? Ugh, what the bleep? I'm not bleeping saying bleeping bleep! Oh for bleeps sake, I bleeping... ugh." he rubbed his nose.

"It's teen fiction. Dummie." I rolled my eyes. "Even I knew that."

"Hey, you watch that bleeping mouth you bleep, I made you sexy." he said, irritated.

"ANYWAY." Evelyn yelled over us. "The bleeping proclamations of love, for bleeps sake."

Assassino sighed and got to his knees? Groveling. "I don't really like you but you're an external babe therefore I love you and your former troll-like self." he said, exasperated.

"Okay, one thing before I play my insignificant side character role... isn't it kind of losing its comedic value to just say bleep all the time?" Jimmy Falcon raised an eyebrow as well as one hand as he leaned over to interject.

"What should we change it up to then, vampire sparkle prince?" Evelyn blew a bubble in her gum and stared at Jimmy Falcon boredly.

He seemed unphased by the manhood damaging Twilight remark. "I was thinking like tinkle, quite honestly."

"How old are you? Six?" Kyle Biker appeared out of nowhere. He was covered in tanning oil, wearing nothing but a banana hammock and looking like a regular absolute babe who's still mediocre in my sex god books. "Clearly it should be jingle."

Everyone in the room giggled.

"All if favour of jingle as the new bleep?" Emelie looked around the room. Everyone's hands went up.

"What the jingle sounds stupid though..." I pouted. I basically lived by What the Bleep.

"No one cares about you and your useless opinion Peaches the new word is jingle." Assassino rolled his eyes.

"Okay, two more groveling proclamations of love, one borderline X rated photoshoot and a hella jelly text to the sex god before we can wrap this up." Emelie clapped her hands together enthusiastically.

Kyle Biker shoved Assassino out of his way, dropped to his knees and grabbed my wrists. He kissed my hands, cried and begged for my love.

It was alright. I guess.

Jimmy Falcon grunted from the sex dungeon backdrop "Apparently I too am in love with you, Peaches."

We spent like two hours getting the most smouldering photo of Kyle Biker that we could so that I could send it to Rider James.

Except then things got REALLY X rated so I'll just add a winky face and skip to the text message.

;) ;*

I had sex with Kyle Biker.