Little One | Bellamy Blake

| 06

Skyfall II

"Maybe I bit off more than I could chew"

The Kids Aren't Alright

by 

Fall Out Boy

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After her miserable visit with Wells, Holland retreated back to her usual spot to sleep. It was the only thing she felt she couldn't mess up. If the Ark didn't see the rockets... It was only a matter of time until her hands would be stained red with the blood of her people. 

It was one of her more restless nights. Her tree nook provided little comfort as she tossed and turned. It was only a few hours after the flare launch and everyone (except Holland) had gone to sleep. She should be joining them, but her mind couldn't slow down, let alone shut off.

With a somber sigh, she pulled away from the tree and stood up. It seemed to be a new habit as she found herself sitting beside the fire again. She pulled her open jacket tighter around her torso before crossing her arms over it. She stared into the flickering flames, hoping that they could lull her to sleep. 

Holland found herself thinking about Bellamy again. She officially knew everything about him she needed to know: his crime, his drive, and his style of leadership. While shooting Chancellor Jaha was incredibly stupid and corrupt, she understood where he came from. Jaha took Bellamy's family away from him, and she knew how that felt. It was his only shot at protecting the only person he ever cared about, and he was desperate. Besides, Raven said his aim was terrible and that the Chancellor survived. If he did, then Bellamy's actions were officially pardoned with the rest of them. 

Holland didn't know if her crime would be pardoned by anyone.

No one on the ground knew what happened, but there were several people on the Ark who knew what she did. Any of the guards could've let it slip by then. The Council could've made a statement about it. Her mother could've exposed her and used her as an example. About how she married a traitor and also gave birth to one. About how she can still be a model citizen after that. 

The guilt gnawed at Holland's insides. "Telling" Wells didn't help much. If anything, she felt worse because she knew he would be furious with her. Admitting it out loud, she believed, also made her father aware of what she did. Her father died to save one person's life while Holland lived to snub 300 lives. The irony would've made her laugh if she didn't feel so horrible about it. 

She thought about actually telling someone. Someone living instead of the grave of her best friend. Someone who would lecture her or sympathize with her or smack her or something. Holland knew the crime of every single person on the ground. Wouldn't it be fair for all of them to know hers?

Her ears perked up when she heard someone moving about camp. She raised her head, squinting to see Bellamy, torch in hand, checking people's tents. He had an air of panic around him that compelled Holland to stand. She approached him, softly calling his name so he wouldn't be startled. He turned around, and Holland saw the worry creasing his face.

"You're up?" he asked, a hint of relief still audible in the tense way he spoke.

"Yeah. Knowing that hundreds of people might be dying on the Ark makes it pretty hard to sleep," she sighed, jamming her hands into her pockets.