Rainbows after Hurricane

30. |p r e s e n t|

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Song of the chapter/ Speechless by Morning Parade

Zach had been scared only two times in his whole existence. Once: When they brought Ashley and Asher into hospital two years ago after that brutal and unfair accident that took Ashley away from him. And, Two: Now, at the moment as he watches doctor running inside the ICU, whispering words to nurses which he cannot understand a damn thing.

For a moment, he had allowed himself to believe that Dianna would make it, come out of this, and will start arguing with him about finishing her sandwich and fight with him over the remote to watch the re-run of Desperate housewives while he argues to watch cricket.

For a moment, he almost believed for it all to be true.

For a moment, he almost forgave himself for the mistakes he has done. Now, that, he stands outside the ICU, waiting, hoping, praying for his sister to be fine, he isn't sure if he deserves to be forgiven at all.

He turns on his feet, and with the pounding in his heart, he drags his body away from the room Dianna's in and where all the doctors are huddled in, trying to save her. He can't stand in there and wait for them to tell him the worst news and make his worst nightmare come true. Yes, he is being pessimistic, but after the shit the life threw at him, he knows better than to believe in rainbows and unicorns.

If it was a movie, there's a high possibility that everything would turn out okay in the end. However, that's the problem, isn't it? Life is not a movie, and when it plays nasty, cruel game, you're always the one to lose. When your life is hit with a hurricane, you should know better than to expect rainbows.

***

The smell of warm coffee hits Zach's nose, and a minute later, he feels a familiar warm hand on his shoulder. He doesn't need to look up to know who that person is. His heart expands when he realizes the fact that he got his best friend back, but the question still remains: At what cost?

All this time when he pushed Asher out of his life, he always thought it would make the pain go away, fill the hollow in his heart that was there ever since Ashley passed away. When in truth, it had done the exact opposite. The pain never ebbed away, the hollow in his heart expanded with each passing day and he felt emptier as the days went by. He became someone even he was unaware about. However, he forced himself to believe it was okay and it was the best thing for him.

He forced himself to believe he was okay. But, was he really okay? No, he wasn't, and he was too stubborn to admit it—until now.

Dianna had been correct all along, and now he feels terrible for turning her down, for blowing out the light of hope she always attempted to show him. Now, he wants nothing more than to travel back in time and correct every single thing he did to make her upset and does everything right, just so she could be with him forever, laughing, smiling.

               "The coffee is going to get cold." Asher says, breaking his chain of thoughts, motioning for him to drink the coffee he'd put in his lap.

              "I don't feel like drinking anything." He replies, forcing his eyes to look at the cup in his lap, then places it away.

Asher is now sitting beside him on the floor, shoulder-to-shoulder in one of the storage rooms of the hospital. Asher doesn't say anything, letting the silence fall between them, as he knows and understands the turmoil going on inside Zach's head. He knows that feeing all too clearly, and knows how much it hurts.