Rainbows after Hurricane

7. |p a s t|

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Song of the chapter/ Give me love by Ed Sheeran

As the weeks went by, Dianna's anger soon died down like it never existed in the first place. Yes, she still feels betrayed that no one informed her about Ashley's death but how long can she be mad at them before that anger takes over her, destroying everything what's left of her happiness.

Every single time she thinks about Ashley, the pain in her heart magnifies the double amount and it hurts so bad she can barely remember to breath. Without Ashley, it feels like there is a hollow emptiness in her chest which aches each time she takes a breath. This reminds her of the cruel truth that Ashley can longer breathe—that she is no longer with her and she is never returning.

They can no longer blow their breath in the glass of the window and write their name on it on that coffee shop they regularly visited since they were kid. She won't be able to take midnight strolls with Ashley in the park just two blocks away from her home because she could not sleep. She won't be able to tell Ashley about how she feels whenever she saw Asher speaking with other girls.

Dianna won't be able to do any of those things and it hurts. It fucking hurts.

Every time she thinks of it, the anger resurfaces making her want to scream her lungs out and yell at the world and Zach and Lilly and Asher for hiding the truth from her. But, now as she knows the truth, she can clearly see what she couldn't see before—what she couldn't understand before.

The emptiness in Zach's eyes which were once filled with life and joy, the small smile that no longer touch his eyes, the forced laugh that doesn't come from his heart, the sense of longing and yearning for Ashley in his eyes, the faraway look in his face that clearly describe what he is feeling, like, he no longer belonged here.

The pain is so raw in every action and movement of Zach's that she cannot believe herself for not seeing it sooner and not understanding it before. It is so clear. So plain.

So, after crying and grieving for her dead friend for three consecutive days, she decided that it was time for her to move on from her anger because that was what Ashley would have told her if she was here. And that's what she did. She talked with Zach and forgave him and once again cried together remembering the moments spent with Ashley.

Then, something inside Dianna told her that it was not the way to cherish Ashley. Whatever memory she had of Ashley, it was all good ones, fun ones, one's where she had only enjoyed and laughed like it was the end of the world and that was not the way to respect those memories—by crying. It should be cherished with smile not tears—which they did.

                 "And, you remember the time she poured that cold water filled with ice all over your head because she was so pissed at you?" Dianna tells, chuckling as the memory plays inside her head like it happened just yesterday.

Zach shudders at the memory with a pained expression. "Yup. How can I forget? I got hospitalized for two days after her little stunt."

Dianna laughs. "Yeah, it was nasty, I mean, looking at you all pale and weak," she visibly shudders scrunching up her face, and says, "you looked awful."

                "Gee, thanks." Zach says sarcastically, taking a sip of his coffee when a small smile slips into the corner of his mouth as another memory flashes across his mind. "Hey, do you remember the time when we were all watching that horror movie, 'Hills have eyes'?"