A Malec Alphabet

O- On the edge

On the Edge (decisions, decisions)

Alec was having a bad day before he heard Miley Cyrus.

He had barley slept the night before, and Jace had practically beaten him up in training before making out with Clary right in front of him. Then, on the subway, a random woman had licked his neck and he had been splashed with dirty water by a car. So, not the best day.

He yawned as he chucked his duffle bag onto the sofa next to him. "Where is Magnus?" He muttered to himself, pushing Chairman Meow off his lap.

"That's not very nice."

Alec yelled and jumped onto the sofa.

Magnus ran in. "What's happening?"

"The cat is talking." Alec said in the voice of someone traumatised. "He just told me off. Why is the cat talking?"

"The cat has a name." Chairman Meow sighed. For some reason he sounded like an elderly British man. (Brits represent!)

Magnus relaxed. "Poochkins has been talking for ages. Surely you're not that un-observant.

"I have told you not to call me Poochkins." The small cat said, floating up and onto the sofa. "It is so dergotatory."

"Why is the cat taking?" Alec repeated.

Magnus reminded his boyfriend of the lightning bolt that had hit the cat and made him fly. He had started developing weird powers ever since.

"Oooh, Chairman, show him the thingy!" Magnus squealed. Alec stayed on the sofa. He wasn't sure what a 'thingy' involved when it came to Magnus.

The Chairman sighed. "Fine." He glared at Alec in a way that he thought no animal could glare like. He felt a movement beneath him and fell face-forward onto the floor. The sofa had scooted back a few feet, and was floating an inch above the ground. Slowly it sunk back onto the carpet. "I am still honing my powers," the cat said. "So I am not yet used to it. Who knows, maybe I'll never be used to it."

Alec couldn't imagine ever being used to a talking cat with a vendetta against him.

He pulled himself off the floor and backed away from Chairman Meow slowly. The cat rolled his eyes (can cats roll their eyes?) and drifted through the air to his favourite spot- the TV. Although that could have been because it was one of the few things that never changed in the apartment. Alec turned to Magnus, who was looking at the Chairman with a proud expression.

"You didn't maybe want to mention that the cat could talk."

Magnus shrugged. "Didn't think it was that big of a deal."

"The cat, who hates me, can talk, and you didn't think it was that big-" a blast of fire burst between the two, making them jump apart. Alec turned back to the cat, who looked like he would be raising an eyebrow if he had eyebrows.

"Did he just..?"

Chairman Meow opened his mouth and blasted another, slightly weaker, fire burst into the air.

"FRICKING HELL CHAIRMAN, YOU DIDN'T HAVE TO SINGE THE WALLPAPER!" Magnus cried in despair for the purple roses.

"You have a horrid choice in wallpaper." Chairman Meow said, extending one paw towards the wall. A lightning bolt shot out and sizzled (*whispers* sizzy)against the wall.

Alec had climbed on top of the kitchen counter for his own safety. He was glad he had when the cat started shooting laser-beams out of his eyes.

Zap! Zap! Zap!

Magnus yelled and joined Alec on the counter.

"Chairman..." He started in a hesitant voice. "Could you please not ruin my apartment?" Chairman Meow stopped. "Thank you." He crossed his legs on top of the counter. "Hey, the next time we go into battle I'm bringing you with me Poochkins. Demons don't stand a chance against you!"

Alec ran a hand through his hair. "I don't..."

Chairman Meow glared at Alec frostily. He opened his mouth and started to sing in a perfect imitation of Miley Cyrus. "I CAME IN LIKE A WREEEEECKING BAAAALLLL! I NEVER HIT SO HAAARD AND LOOOW! ALL I WANTED WAD TO BREEAAAK YOUR WALLS! ALL YOU EVER DID WAS BREEEAAAAK MEEE! YEAH YOU WREEEEAAAKEDD MEEE!" Alec winced. He had never liked Miley Cyrus much.

In fact, if the Chairman wasn't about the same hight as his ankle and if Magnus wouldn't kick him out, he would have stepped on the cat. Or kicked the cat out. Descions, Descions. Alec did neither. Instead he rang Jace in an attempt to actually hear some sanity.

-

Okay, don't hate me bc this chapter is really crappy, but I had zero inspiration for it, and it took me ages to write it, so I kinda gave up and just wrote a weird one. But yagen, Chairman Meow is now a super-cat. Sebastian doesn't stand a chance against the might of Miley Cyrus/dragon breath/moving things with his mind/mind reading/flying/talking etc

Also, the title has absolutly NO RELEVANCE to the chapter which is annoying but oops too late now, it's 11:38pm and I am DoNe.

So the winner of the competition was XloveisfallingX her profile is AWESOME, check it out :) her idea was one of the moving objects with the mind ones. (I can't remember how to spell that spesh word so I won't try)

The Hobbit: Desolation of Smaug comes out on FRIDAY here! :O also, the city of bones DVD doesn't come out till the 27th of January? Whaaaat???

Sneak Peak of the next chapter: "To be honest my dear, I don't give a flying flip about it."

Not the best so far...Oh well. I need to be more optimistic. Song of the day: Chocolate by the 1975

Try sussing that sneak peak out geniuses. (Is that the plural of genius? Genii?)

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