A Malec Alphabet

Bloopers

Or, This Time it Really is an Update

I'm bored and I should be writing sizzy but nah, Malec are the bae.

Some relate to previous chapters, some don't. And welcome to my OC Lucy.

Pink Hair

"Alec," Magnus whined. "Seriously, I'm so tired. You get the door."

Alec buried his head further into the pillow.

Magnus scowled. "You'll be sorry if you don't get up."

No movement.

The warlock huffed, and created a small ball of blue light around Alec's head. He grinned wickedly to himself before getting up and answering the door (His cooker worked fine, thank you very much).

Now all he needed to do was wait until Alec had a shower.

"MAGNUS BANE, WHY THE HELL IS MY HAIR PINK? I SWEAR YOU'D BETTER START RUNNING!"

Gender bend

Maybe Magnus should have learnt from the last time he'd tried out a spell on Alec that his boyfriend wasn't always h.appy about it.

Meh. Who cared.

At least that one had gone the way it had meant to go.

This one was supposed to be a spell to improve someone's luck (he may or may not have been watching Harry Potter again).

The way this one had turned out however...

Alec would not be happy when he woke up. As a girl.

Hence why Magnus was searching every book he had to reverse it before he (she?) woke up.

Strip Mario-Kart

"But... Shadowhunters don't play Mario-Kart."

"Take them off, Magnus."

"This is just a ploy to see me naked."

"You're such a bad loser."

Luke Still Doesn't Get it

Luke looked very pleased with himself as he approached Magnus and Alec holding a small grey box.

"I remembered what you said about getting lots of letters," he said, handing the box to Magnus. "So on behalf of the Council, have this gift."

Inside the box lay a small golden letter opener, with a gilt handle.

Magnus held back laughter. "Thank you so much. I'm sure the letters will be much easier to deal with now I have this."

As he walked away, Magnus snorted.

Alec raised an eyebrow. "If you were still talking hypothetically, did you just threaten me with a miniature knife to have sex with you?"

Magnus winked.

K- Kisses extra scene

"Alec! Alec! Wake up...Please... Jem, do something!"

"Magnus, I'm sorry, but he's gone."

Goats

Alec stared incredulously at the animal in the cart. "Not that I'm not grateful, I am, but... what the hell am I supposed to do with a goat?"

"You can milk it," Magnus said helpfully. "I think goat's cheese is very nice."

"Well would you like to have a go at it? Tomorrow obviously, it's like three in the morning." Alec said, scratching the back of his head and rolling his eyes at his ridiculous boyfriend.

V- Vases Bonus Scene

Miley woke up the next day with a pounding hangover. Vaguely she could remember going to Magnus's party, twerking, singing, more twerking, breaking a vase...

She turned over and noticed a post-it note stuck to her arm. In neat, cursive handwriting a message had been left:

Miley,

You owe me $13 000 000

Sorry, not sorry. I liked that vase.

Magnus X

Tokyo

"Wow." Alec said, looking around from the rooftop they were standing on. From their point they could see the entire city, neon lights bright in the early evening haze. He had seen plenty of magic, but not even Idris looked as magical as Magnus did bathed in coloured light.

Magnus grinned at him. "Let's take a picture. That way we'll always be here, in one way or another."

Alec rested his head on Magnus's shoulder. "Did I ever tell you that I love you? Because I do."

Magnus kissed the top of his head. "I know. I'm in love with you."

Playgroup

Lucy, their adopted daughter, toddled ouout of the playgroup and straight into Magnus's arms.

"Hey Loopy-Lou!" He said, swinging her up into the air and around.

Alec rolled his eyes but smiled. "Have a good time?"

The small girl looked up at her dads. "One boy was mean to me, Daddy. He said pigtails were for piggies."

Magnus (who had spent an hour researching how to braid before braving the plaits) scowled. "No they're not. He's obviously a poo."

Lucy giggled.

Alec bent down so he was on her level. "Which one was he?" he asked, a dangerous tone in his voice.

"Alexander, dear, you can't kill a four year old." Magnus reminded him. "Now who wants ice cream?"

Y- Yaks prequel

Alec walked into the apartment and immediately wished he hadn't.

Magnus was naked, surrounded by farm animals and swinging a bucket of holy water around them while a client sat on the sofa calmly.

Alec decided hiding in the bathroom was a good plan. After seeing- was that a cow?- in the bathtub he closed the door and walked straight back out of the apartment.

Boyfriends

"Do you prefer 'boyfriend' or 'partner'?" Alec asked during their cuddle time.

Magnus smiled. "I don't care what you call me as long as it's 'yours'."

Boyfriends Part Two

"I knew it! I should have shot him when he was four!" Alec exclaimed angrily.

Magnus tried to soothe his husband. "Alec, darling, we were doing the same at their age."

"That's different. He's a mundane, and Lucy will ascend soon!" Alec ran a hand through his hair.

They had found a box of condoms in Lucy's room.

Shirtless

"Good God." Alec said as the man on-screen removed his shirt.

Magnus dropped the piece of popcorn he was holding. "It's not bad if we're both looking, right?" he asked.

The man flexed his arms. Alec raised both eyebrows. "I... no. No harm in that."

Jace snorted. "You two have way too much sexual tension."

They both hushed him in synchronisation.

The man winked at the girl on-screen. Magnus made a whimpering noise and clutched Alec's arm.

Whitney

Magnus leant over to Alec and whispered in his ear, "I will always love you."

"Soppy bastard." Alec grinned, grabbing Magnus by the shirt front and kissing him.

There we go :)

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