Frat Boy Niall

LOST [FBN]

The next morning, you were sitting in your living room all alone, waiting for the phone to ring. You waited and waited, but the call never came. Niall didn’t call. He didn’t want to. He was serious when he told you you should stop talking for a while to see how you do without each other. Just the thought of it hurt. He was okay with not talking to you, with not seeing you, with going on without you, and you weren’t. You weren’t ready to give him up just yet. You two had something special, you were aware of that. It took you 19 years to find someone as special as Niall, someone who makes you laugh even when you don’t have a single reason for laughing, someone who makes you feel safe and protected, someone who makes you feel wanted and someone who you love. You never felt that way about anyone before him and you thought it was impossible for you to feel like that ever again. There wasn’t a guy out there who was more right for you than Niall. That’s why it hurt to think about him. He decided to take a break and figure it all out without you, and you just wanted him. You didn’t care about the “you’re too young to settle down” part. When you love someone, you love them and that’s it. You weren’t a kid, you were aware of everything and that’s what was bothering you. You knew he could just leave you.
As soon as you left Niall’s place after you had the fight with him, you knew you had to talk to Tyler. You couldn’t go home and cry about it. You spent too much time crying about everything that happened between the two of you, you needed someone to tell you it was gonna be alright. Tyler didn’t tell you that, he didn’t want to lie to you, but he was there to make you feel better and, once again, you were thankful for having him there. 
-I think you should just give him some space. You needed space before, remember? But you didn’t want to tell him that because you thought it would hurt his feelings.
-Yes, that’s why I didn’t say anything, but don’t you see what that means? He doesn’t care if he hurts my feelings or not, and I cared about hurting his, so I already know he can’t care for me as much as I care for him.
-No, no, you’ve got it all wrong.-he wrapped an arm around your shoulders and pulled you in closer.-He cares about your feelings, but he cares about his own as well. He doesn’t want to get hurt more than he already is. It’s not like him to feel anything towards a girl, and now that he finally does, you fucked him over. I know you think you didn’t do anything wrong because you know what really went on, but all Niall knows is that you went out with some guy he never heard of more than once and you didn’t tell him a thing about it. He’s already hurt and he needs some time to think about everything. 
You sniffed and leaned your head on Tyler’s shoulder as you listened to him speaking. He was right, he was always right about these things. You didn’t know much about relationships, but you knew even less when it came to your own. You knew Niall, though, and you’d never expect that of him.
-I didn’t want this… I just wanted some time away so I can miss him for once… Because we’re always together and I felt like that was all I had, all I would ever have, only Niall. And I got scared of that because I felt like that was it.-you shrugged.-There was nothing else in my life except him and I knew we wouldn’t break up, so that meant we would be together for a long long time and in that time, my life would be the same and I got scared of that. But I started missing him a lot. Hunter was just here to help me pass the time, and to give me some advice. You were away, and so was Niall and I didn’t have anyone. I never even thought about hooking up with him, I swear. He’s hot, he really is, but nobody compares to Niall. He may be bigger and he may have broader shoulders and God knows what else, but that’s not what I care about.-you shook your head.-All I care about is Niall and I don’t care if I have to spend everyday of the rest of my life with him and only him, I would.
-Wow.-Tyler sighed.-I can’t believe I heard all of that coming out of your mouth. Why didn’t you tell Niall all of that? It would be a lot to process, but I’m sure he’d understand that better than he understood the thing with Hunter like this.
-I didn’t want him to take it the wrong way, you know him, he would get offended… But he got even more offended this way. I managed to screw everything up. A couple of days ago, my biggest worry was if we would be together forever and now I’m wondering if we’ll make it through the day… Life sucks.-you sighed loudly.
-He took some time to think, that’s all. I know Niall better than I knew him when this first started and I know for sure that he cares about you a lot. He just needs to figure out what he wants and how you fit into it and if he can trust you again… You know he loves you, you just have to be patient.
-That’s what I’m scared of… What if he realizes he doesn’t really need me that much?-you looked into his eyes, terrified of the thought.
All feelings pass, what if love does, too? How long does it take for it to go away? And does it ever go back? If someone stops loving you, why is it that you need a lot more time to get over them than you usually would? A thousand similar thoughts ran through your mind and you didn’t have an answer for any of the questions you asked yourself. The only thing you knew for sure is that you would be lost without Niall, completely lost. You were fine with your life with him, you were fine with the way things were and if you lost him, you’d lose all of that. You’d have to start all over again from scratch and make a new life for yourself and you weren’t sure if you had the energy or the will for that. It was hard to do all of that, and it would be even harder without him. That conversation with Tyler shook you up, so when Niall didn’t call that night or the next morning, you realized he might never will. You spent most of your morning in front of your TV, watching sitcoms, but you were in fact just waiting for a ring, but it didn’t come. Tyler texted you asking if you wanted to hang out and you told him you wanted to stay in today and just accept what was going on, so he let you do that in peace. Your mom came back from work, so you just moved to your room and lay around your bed, thinking about what Niall was doing at the time. Was he playing football with his friends and talking about going out and drinking like everything was alright? Or was he already with someone else, comparing her to you? You knew he’d never talk about this to anyone because he was too proud to admit that he has feelings and that he needs advice. Maybe Niall was happy with the way things were, maybe he was out at the lake with a bunch of people from college, just hanging out, drinking beer and making the rest of them laugh. And maybe someone catches his eye and he catches her and there’s a spark and he forgets about you for a while and realized he could find someone like you, someone even better than you… That’s what you feared the most as you stared at the phone screen. He wasn’t even thinking about you.
That night, the phone rang, but it was actually Tyler. He was going out with Hunter and a couple of more people you knew, so he asked if you wanted to join them instead of just waiting for something that may not happen. You thanked him for the invitation and said no, so he asked if you were doing okay. 
-Not really, but there’s not much anyone can do about it…-you snorted.-How fucking great.
-You’re wrong. You can go out and make yourself have some fun. The others don’t know about the fight you two had, so you wouldn’t have to talk about it and maybe they’d get your minds off of him and you’d have fun for a change.-he waited for your answer, but you were still quiet, so he went on.-But I understand if you want to stay home. Just know that you can call me anytime and I’m here. Good night, girl, sweet dreams!
-Thank you, Ty, have a great night, alright?