He's A Jerk, But He's Cute

Everything Seemed A Little Clearer

After my bonding experience with Octavian (pranks and all), my life somehow seemed... brighter.

Maybe not overall but maybe just in this one spot. It was like when people wipe off sticky stuff from counters with paper towels. It's not all clean but it's good enough and it looks alright on the surface.

I was only called a whore one time after someone saw me talking to the Stolls. But just once. And even that made my day a little brighter.

Regardless of all this, I knew my life. Sure it sounded pathetic, but I knew it wouldn't last. And I was right apparently.

As soon as I had gotten out of the shower and sat down on the couch in front of the tv with some popcorn and a smoothie, I heard a gentle knock on the door.

I sighed, glancing around for roommates that aren't there to open the door. With reluctance, I got up and opened it myself, my jaw going a bit slack.

"I think we need to talk," Devon said and quickly jammed his foot between the door and crack of the opening. I had a sick feeling that he didn't care if I crushed his damn toes. He wasn't going anywhere.

My life is an inferno, I thought.

"I think you might be right," I mumbled and I let him in.

And it keeps burning.

He looked uncomfortable if anything, shifting his weight back on forth on his feet after I let him in. I definitely wasn't any better; I could only watch him and wait for him to say something.

"You can be a real bitch, you know," Devon said and stuck his hands in his pocket.

I forced a smug grin though I wasn't feeling so smug. "Mhm."

"Can I sit down?" He asked and gestured to a bar stool next to the couch.

"No. I want you to say what you have to say and then leave."

Although I would never admit it aloud, Devon was the lesser of a few evils. I felt less like my life was in physical danger when he was around and maybe it's just because I didn't know him as well as I did Octavian, but I kind of trusted Devon more than him. Definitely more than Hunter anyway.

Devon took a deep breath and then closed his eyes. By now, I knew that Devon was known for spitting out everything he had to say in one breath. But it still took me a few moments to comprehend the sheer amount of words he spat out.

"I know that Octavian put some shit in Hunter's drink this morning and I know you two have decided that fucking with us is your new way of resolving sexual tension or whatever and I don't know what the hell Octavian told you about Hunter and his insane vendetta against you, but it's not true and frankly, I think it's quite hypocritical of you to just assume that what he tells you is scripture considering he bullied you for years and I've never done anything to you and yet you like him more than me—I mean, I'm not jealous or anything I'm just saying that that's kind of fucked up, Rachel."

It took me a few seconds. But eventually, I reached a point of understanding. One that called bullshit on about 85% of what Devon just said. Even so, as I stared at him and got angrier with every second, he started to tear up. And maybe Devon was just an unlucky middle man. And maybe I was a bitch. And maybe all of this drama just wasn't worth it.

For a second, everything seemed a little clearer. Like I'd put on contacts for the first time. And then Devon kissed me. Again.

It was like every time I thought a problem was resolved, a new one took its place. The thing was, it could've been simple if I had just pushed him away and cursed him out like a reasonable person. Like I wasn't a slut. But I didn't.

I guided his hand to my hips as he kissed me deeper. I let his tongue run over my bottom lip.

I heard when the door creaked open and knew that I had fucked up everything again. I heard when Octavian threw our prank notebook onto the kitchen table.

I let Devon pull me in close and whisper, "He'll be fine," into my ear and then let him hold me until he got tired of standing and took me to sit on the couch instead.

"I'm tired," I said weakly, throat raw.

I wasn't sure if he knew that I didn't just mean it literally. But he nodded and got up and left as soon as I said it.

It kept burning.