A Court of Fire and Lies

The Library

My head pounds as my body feels numb. A feeling I wish I could just shake away as I bite my lip. Still tasting the metallic flavor in my mouth. I shudder at the dream that haunts me now. I stand up and as I do it feels like there's something inside me, a need to be used. I shake my head as I clutch the sink and rinse my face with cold water. Though now I'm freezing and my bones ache for warmth. Just because this is the Winter Court doesn't mean it has to literally be winter on the inside too. I clutch the door knob as I my vision goes blurry, hazy and I stumble out of the bathroom and onto a sofa. I collapse on it the cool texture soothing as the urge to claw at my head as it washes over me. As if something is ripping me apart. I want to cry out in pain but not even a tear falls as I breathe in and out. But nothing seems to ease the feeling. And soon darkness overpowers me and my arms slack with a dreamless sleep. Even though the shivers and pain of the dream remains a ghost upon my mind, skin and future. 

                                                 -------

"Feyre."

"Feyre" 

I let out a soft moan.

"Feyre." Someone is shaking me though that could just be me. I sit up shivering as suddenly a fire begins lighting up my room as my eyes adjust. Is it just me or is her magic stronger since I got here? I shake my head of it as warmth surrounds me like a blanket and I see Lili come into view, a worried look washing over her face as she bends down to my eye level. 

"Feyre, you don't look so good." Her voice a small whisper.

My voice trembles as I say, "Something is wrong." I feel my hands quiver as I close my eyes again.

Suddenly the sofa appears right in front of the fire as she places a blanket on me. 

"Thanks." I mutter.

"What happened? When I left you, you were fine?" 

"Umm, I....nothing." I don't want to lie but I have to. The last thing I need is for them to think I'm unstable and then before you know it I'm fragile and can't go to the winter palace. 

"Is it light out yet?" I ask

"The moon and stars still shine."

I almost smile. Almost. I only wish I could see it. Pain rushes through me touching every muscle and bone. Weakness takes over my body as I try to stand.

"I want you to go back to sleep." 

I nod and she guides me over to the ruffled bed. 

"I'll bring you a drink to help you get some rest." She gives me a soft smile, and this time she doesn't lock the door when she leaves. Maybe she does trust me.

The fluffy bed almost relaxes me and the shaking subsidies a little as I close my eyes and listen to the crackling fire across the room as it's warmth spreads throughout the room. I move the sheets above my head as I clear my mind. I take in a deep breath and so I do the one thing that always makes me feel better. 

I list off everything I miss or love about Rhys and keep doing this till I fall asleep. 

One: I miss his smirks.

Two: I love it when he takes my hand 

Three: I miss his flirtatious comments

Four: I miss our walks

Five: his compliments 

Six: I miss watching him get lost in his thoughts

Seven: I love it when he brushes--- suddenly the door clicks open and a second later Lili is by my side raising me up as she hands me a warm mug, the mouth thick and the liquid sweet and rich as it runs down my throat warming it up. I hand her back the mug and I see she's still in her night clothes. I rest my head back down as suddenly the bed shifts and I see Lili lay down next to me.