A Court of Fire and Lies

18 - Rhysand

Note: not with my fanfic, (fluff chapter)  Okay everyone, for reaching 2,000 reads here is a special chapter(s), this is from the beginning of A Court of Most and Fury, it is the first five chapters in Rhysand's point of view!!! I have never written anything in his perspective so this probably sucks so let me know if this good or not!!!! Enjoy! :) I will be doing another fluff chapter once I reach 3,000 reads!!

Listen to Dreaming of You by: Cigarettes After Sex

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•  RHYSAND INTRODUCTION •  

        Maybe everyone saw me as a monster with no soul, and that deep inside my shattered bones, I wasn't real. 

             I should have done more. I should have saved her. I should have ripped the dagger out of her hands and melted the minds of those faeries. 

           But I didn't.

            And now she's broken. I blame myself for it, and for everything else. Amren and Mor tell me over and over again that I did as much as I could. But every time I feel her losing strength, or feel the nightmares that haunt her sleep....all I want to do is take it away from her. A part of me thinks, maybe I should have called in the bargain. But how can I do that to her? She doesn't see me as a friend. There's no trust with her. And even though I feel her, every day in my mind. I want to shut it out, just to close that part of the pain she has. And she doesn't even know I know her every thought, she's blind, but I suppose I am as well.

          We're broken and dark inside, just the two of us, lost in our minds. 

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• CHAPTER 1 •

        I squeeze my eyes closed trying to hide away the terror running through me. I jolt awake and feel Feyre immediately. The vision of her vomiting still in my mind. Every night I wake up from another horrifying vision of her. It's like we share the same dreams, her's are so much worse though. 

       I haven't been able to rest soundly for a long time, but I can't even seem to sleep well since the last day in Under the Mountain. I'd let a part of myself go bare that day. Or maybe a little all the days, when I told her so many things-- I don't regret any of it. Showing her the weaker side of me, my wings. I know she won't say anything, a part of me knows she wouldn't even tell that fool Tamlin. I doubt Lucien, though from everything I saw, they seem to have grown quite close since my last visit to the Spring Court. 

      For the most part I'm just glad she...we made it out alive, and she gained immortality for her bravery. I gained just a tad more, a secret I don't know if I'll ever say aloud, or breath the words. And it's killing me. Knowing she's over there in an enemy Court, with him. 

      I shove away the covers and I flinch remembering the sound of her neck breaking, the only sound that haunts me, awake or in my dreams. It's there and I think I'll have it memorized forever. I look down at my hands, one is smooth except a few calluses, and the other holds the dark tattoo that swirls up my arm and intertwines with my fingers. I look down at the eye in the center of my palm and wonder what she's doing. I run a hand through my hair and get up from my bed. I move to the window and state out at my city.