Let Me Be The One

Chapter Four - Big Brother

March 13. Sixth month-anniversary namin ni Josh. I decided na puntahan siya sa basketball game right after my class. Pero nasira lahat ng plano ko para sa araw na ‘yun when I saw him at one corner of the gymnasium with his lips against Gracelyn’s mouth.

Fuck!

Anger, hatred and jealousy welled inside me. Hindi ko alam ang dapat kong gawin while I was looking at them, my mind went black and as if my heart was going to burst inside me.

As I tried myself not to let tears streamed down my face, I walked towards them, stopping the urge inside me to kill him.

“Hi,” nagulat sila after kong magsalita.

“S-Shane,” gulat na tawag sa akin ni Josh, there was a smudge of red lipstick at the corner of his mouth. Fucking, asshole!

“No. It’s okay. Ituloy niyo lang ‘yan. May ibibigay lang ako sa’yo.” I managed in a calm voice. I stepped closer to him and brought my hand against his cheek with a loud slap. He stared at me dumbfounded at my abrupt action. “You deserved it! Fuck you!” And I turned, walked away from them without looking back, feeling the numbness against my palm.

My first heartbreak was when I was in third grade, when my crush dumped me for a girl who was prettier than me. Pero wala na atang mas sasakit pa sa naranasan ko with Josh. Alam kong di na dapat ako magkafeelings pa towards him and I fucking hate myself!

And that fucking idiot deserved nothing in this world!

“Ssshh. It’s okay, bear.” Zach said, rubbing small circles on my back. He cupped my face between his soft hands, looking directly at me with his concerned blue eyes. “I’m sorry to say this but... you don’t fucking deserve that douche bag! You deserved better. And I understand how you felt but just think of the time how he broke your heart. You deserve to be happy and not to be miserable because of an idiot like him. You understand?” he said and wiped a tear on my cheek with his thumb. And after ng ilang taon, ngayon ko lang ulit naramdaman kung gaano ko namiss ang Zach na laging nasa tabi ko, who was always there to protect me just like a big-brother. He was a brother I wasn’t meant to have. “And now, that I’m already here with you, I’m not letting that fucking asshole to hurt you again. That will never happen again, Bear.”

“Thanks, Z-Zach. I... I’m sorry if I cried like shit.” I said, looking down at my hands.

“No, it’s okay. I’m glad that I’m already here for you again. Just like a big-brother.” He winked and it made me smile.

“Opo, kuya!” I answered, pinching his flushed cheeks.

“And next time, teach me some Tagalog words, okay? You’ve promised me that before. Remember?”

Ten years ago, bago umalis si Zach I promised him that when he comes back, I’m going to teach him some Tagalog words, being the only thing I had just to make him promise he’d come back again.

“I remember!” I answered, planting a quick kiss on his cheek before I headed up my room.

 It seemed like ang tagal-tagal kong nawala just because of the 13 missed calls I got from Justin. I was about to call but I stopped abruptly after I read her txt message.

Kakatampo naman. Dumating lang ‘yung childhood friend mo, nakalimutan na ako. x( Sige, bukas na lang. Good Night. *

Nakonsensya naman ako. Tsk. Di ko naman sinasadyang makalimutan ‘yung promise ko sa kanya eh.

Humiga na ako sa kama ko, bringing my blanket up my neck with a mental note na ayain sumama si Justin with us bukas para makabawi ako sa kanya.

Para bang minute lang ang lumipas nang isara ko ang mga mata ko and when I opened it again, nakita ko na si Justin na nagbabasa ng dyaryo sa tabi ko. As usual, horoscope na naman for sure.