Isolophobia: Fear of being Alone

05: Covered

"Pwede na 'to" sabi ko habang nakaharap sa salamin.

Nakalong sleeves ako at pantalon saka ako nag Black na Doll shoes.

Tumingin ako sa relos ko. It's already 6:30 pm

Today is December 7, 2016.

Kaya ramdam mo na yung lamig sa panahong to. Medyo madilim na rin sa labas kaya sinunod ko yung sinabi ni doc-- este Lux .

At dahil di ko alam san pumunta sabi ni Lux we will go sa Exhibit sa isang tao na may Screen name na "Dminix"

I don't know that  human. Because Sabi ni Lux di daw nagpapareveal si Dminix. Well there's something about this Dminix that I want to know. Really.

"Shyn?" Kumakatok si Lux sa kwarto ko. Naglakad ako patungo sa pinto.

He's wearing his Polo na kulay Light Brown. At naka black na siya nun. Pinagtatakha ko lang kay Lux. Naka eyeliner siya ngayon.

"What's with that?" Tanong ko na nakataas ang isang kilay ko. Tinuro ko yung mata niya .

"What?" He asked.

"Ah. That. Naka eyeliner ka. Bakit ka bigla naglagay niyan?" I asked.

"Ah? Wala lang naman. Kase bagay siya Sken? Ewan ko din bat pag aalis ako hindi as a Doctor. Ganto lagi nilalagay ko" Paliwanag niya.

Grabe.

"We should go" he said kaya bumaba na kami at ni lock muna ang  bahay bago kami umalis. Wallet at isang cellphone lang na dalawang Number lang ang nakasave Sken.  Number ni Shaun at Number ni Lux.

Pinagbuksan ako ng pinto ni Lux at pumasok na ako sa kotse niya. Nasa Side ako ng Driver which is si Lux. 

Inistart na niya ang Engine ng sasakyan saka na kami umalis.

"Buksan mo yung mga bintana. At ilagay mo yung seatbelt mo" sabi niya na sobrang concentrate  sa pagdadrive at di na ako magawang tignan.

"Okay" I answered.

"Lux?" I called his name.

"Hmmmm? " sagot niya.

"Magkuwento ka" sabi ko.

"Ano namang kukwento ko?" Tanong niya . Ewan ko kung sa sarili niya o saken.

"Uhm. I just realized  that. Today is your second day as my doctor. Yet I  just know your name and your Job. So you should tell something  about yourself." I said calmly.

"Why should I? Di ko naman ginagawa sa ibang pasyente ko yun eh. " he said.

"Siguro sa iba. Pero kasama kita sa bahay eh  di naman ako isa sa mga dinadalaw-dalaw mo sa ospital. Every day one once a week" Paliwanag ko.

"Ah. Tapos? " Tanong niya.

"Dapat may malaman ako sayo" sabi ko.

"Okay" sagot niya na ikinaliwanag ng mukha ko..

"First my Name is Arlux Brent Arcadia" he smiled. "Nakatapos ako sa Genesis University. At naging Psychologist" he said without blinking.

"I know sa tingin ng iba mahirap maging Doctor. Well yeah. It is" he said.

"Then bakit mo pinili to?" I asked.

Of course . I'm just curious  why.

Like. Why do people love to do some risky and difficult task or challenges  in their life? Why they can't just enjoy and live freely.

"Because  of my Mom. My Mom has a psychological problem. psychosis"

"What's that?" I asked.

" W-wala" nababasag na yung boses niya

I open my phone  ang search for the Dictionary Icon.

'a very serious mental illness thatmakes you behave strangely orbelieve things that are not true'

Ah. I see.

"Hey Are you okay?" I asked

"Yes" He's smiling. But I know. He's not okay. I can see the pain on his eyes. In short. His smile can hide the pain in his eyes.

Why do People love to pretend?

Maybe because  it's needed or its just their hobby to fool someone?

Maybe if it's needed . It's like fooling  every human being in this earth. And no one is exempted. Sa pananaw ko. The rule in pretending is to show something that you are not up to. It's like. How can I say this one?

It's like you are showing a happy face but inside of that face that you're  just showing. Is a sad and depressed one.

But the consequence there is. Fooling everyone.  Even yourself.  Some of them think that kapani-paniwala ang bawat ngiti o ginagawa nila. At laging akala na convincing un sa ibang tao. But Actually their just convincing their self to compose and remain to be happy at all times.

To be okay .

And to be fine.

But not me.

And I think. I am the exemption.

"Hey?" Tanong bigla ni Doc. 

"Ano? " Tanong ko.

"Nasa Human mind mo na ba ang diwa mo o naglalakbay pa din?" 

"Tapos na siyang maglakbay Lux." I fake a smile.

"What are you thinking? " Tanong niya

"Im Thinking about your smile Lux," I answered directly.

"Huh?"Takang tanong niya.

"You're smile is not real. It's fake. It's pseudo. It's phony" I said habang tinanggal ang seat belt  ko.

"It's not fake. It's real!" Sabi niya.

Psh.

"Yeah. It's really fake" I smiled  saka lumabas ng kotse.

~

Pagpasok namin sa loob may naka sulat sa taas ng glass Door na.

"Dminix: Ashes and Fire"

Pagpasok mo mga 15 na painting  at tatlong sculpture  na gawa sa kahoy  ang mga nandito.

Masasabi ko na. Magaling nga ito at malinis gumawa.

Pero kung Dminix  ang kanyang Screen  name bakit gamit niyang signature sa Painting  niya ay 'D11P12'

"Familiar " Bulong ko sa sarili.