Beside you 5sos (boyxboy) (Malum, Lashton)

Chapter 15- Regrets and mifortunes

***This one is pretty long considering my other chapters. That's okay though. Who doesn't like a long chapter? I know I like writing it so I guess it must be okay. I just got done with the book so I think that I am going to just post the last of what I have so I can just have this book over with. Anyway Love you my imaginary readers. Please don't hate me.***

God, I can't believe this. After everything he did, why would still allow this to happen? He would give himself to someone who probably didn't even care about him. I am behind the school bleachers having a full blown panic attack. Why? Why, would he do this? Tears stream down my face.

I know it's not any of my business, it's not my body, but I can't just sit there and let my friend get hurt. In return, he could hurt himself. That is just something he couldn't allow to happen. He couldn't stand to see his best friend like that again. Sad, scared, and bleeding all over himself so I couldn't see what was going on.

God, he was doing so good. I actually kinda believed him this time. I actually believed that he might stop. That was all ruined though. I know Mikey said that it wasn't Calum's fault, but he still said things that he shouldn't have.

I suddenly feel a hand on my shoulder and jump a little. I look up and see the skinny blond haired boy called Luke. I smile fondly at him through the tears.

"You okay?" He asks me. I shake my head. "Wanna tell me what's wrong?" I shake my head again. He sighs. "Can I sit next to you then?" This time I nod. He does just that and wraps a skinny arm around me. "It's okay Ash. Breath." He tells me while rubbing my back gently. I do just that and eventually, my breathing turns to normal.

"H-how did y-you find m-me?" I ask him still crying slightly.

He chuckles at my stammered words. "I was sitting in the bleachers doing some schoolwork when I heard you crying, So I when behind them and here you were. Do you want to tell me what's wrong now?" He asks me softly, arms still around my shoulders.

I take a deep breath "My best friend cuts himself." I say looking him in the eye. He has this weird look to him. I decide that it's nothing and continue. "Then he had sex with the guy who made him cut the day before that. I know it's not the guy's fault. He didn't know, but he still said stuff that he shouldn't. It's not my business, I know, but you haven't had to be there to clean up the aftermath of what he can do to himself. It is horrible." I tell him.

"Your friend shouldn't put that on you. No matter how much it hurts him he should realize that it hurts you too. He is not the only one is hurting when he does that to himself." He tells me as he pulls me closer. I finally give in and lean into his chest. I sigh not ever wanting to leave this boy's embrace.

I pull away. "I better go," I tell him as I am getting up. He frowns and my heart shatters a little bit. I look over at him and frown.

Today wasn't like every other day. That much I knew. I woke up at my parent's house and knew something wasn't right. I sit up. Something isn't right. I stand up. It's just not right. I sluggishly move to the dresser to get dressed. I slowly put on my skinny jeans and t-shirt. I just don't feel right. I walk to the bathroom to brush my teeth. Everything is just not right.

There was this feeling all throughout my body. I just felt week. And tired. I wasn't working on homework when I found Ashton. I was at the trash can throwing up bile. I looked up and saw Ashton sitting there crying. I tiredly walked over trying not to fall over.

I put my arm around him as he talked so I wouldn't fall asleep. When he gets up I frown. Suddenly the world goes black. I hear screaming and guess that it's Ash. I don't care I just want to sleep.

I look over and see Luke fall over as he passes out. Omg. I rush over and put his head in my lap as I call 911. "It's okay Luke. It's okay. Help is on its way." I tell him while stroking his hair. How did I not know that something was wrong? I was thinking all about myself that I didn't realize he wasn't okay.

Why was I such a bad friend? I was constantly hurting the people around me. The people I love most. I gasp. Love? I look at the boy in my lap. Do I love him? Maybe not yet, but I realize that I definitely feel something toward the skinny blond haired boy.

I remember the way he laughed. God, I love that sound. I realize that I'm crying when a tear splatters on the pale boy's face. I wipe it off his face with my thumb. How come I'm just now realizing how beautiful he is?

All around me I hear yelling and realize the paramedics must be there. They reach down and check his pulse. "How long has he been passed out?" They ask me.

"I don't know. Five minutes maybe?" I tell them and they nod. They bring out a gurney and put Luke on it. I watch as they drive him away in an ambulance. It takes all my willpower not to burst out crying right then, but I suck it up and walk to the bus station by campus.