1: I saw a bug crawling up my arm, and my reaction can only be described as "grabbing for swirling dollars in a plexiglass Cash Cube."
2: That time when you're laughing so hard, no sound is coming out, and you're just bouncing up and down like a retarded seal.
3: My will has a list of friends not allowed to speak at my funerel.
4: My number one rule to live by: Don't die.
5: If your pillow fort doesn't have an armory filled with Nerf guns, then you are not taking pillow forting as seriously as you should be.
6: Apparently typos are only visible AFTER you hit 'send.'
7: I hate it when I'm eating cereal, and those last five pieces are like, "You can't catch me!"
8: Putting in headphones to avoid everybody's crap.
9: "Low battery, please connect charger." You're a smartphone, connect yourself.
10: When you laugh randomly because you remember something really funny, and everybody stares...
11: Panicking when your finger gets stuck in something really stupid...
12: I want to high-five your face with a stapler.
13: I tried to be normal once. Worst thirty seconds ever.
14: Pulling up your blanket and accidentally punching yourself in the face.
15: I need to study. *opens book* But I don't want to. *closes book*
16: I hate it when I'm listening to really loud music, and I have to keep pausing it because I think I hear somebody calling my name.
17: I hate it when I'm drinking something and the ice attacks my face.
18: Friend: AH, IT'S A STINKBUG!
Me: Calm down, it's only a stinkbug.
*opens wings at me*
Me: RUN, RUN!
19: Even when I don't understand, I tell the teacher I do just so they'll go away.
20: One thing I hate about New Years is writing the wrong date.
