Natural Strength || Levi Ackerman x Reader

Chapter 19: Sentiments of Love

Getting beyond the gate was a relief like never before. You were more than relieved to be back in a place where you knew you and Levi were safe. The entire ride to the HQ was gloomy and depressing, but that can't be helped with the knowledge of returning with half of the people who left.

Since one part of the castle was reserved for the elite squads, it was eerily quiet as only you and Levi walked to this part while everyone else was on the other side. You don't speak to each other as you help Levi up the staircase and into his room to let him shower as you go to your own to do the same.

After you get redressed in comfortable clothing, you go downstairs to Hanji's workspace where she's still tending to the wounded soldiers.

"Where's Levi?" she questions when you walk in alone--her usual cheery nature being brought down to a calm exterior.

You simply shake your head and grab the supplies you need before sluggishly climbing back up the steps and walking into Levi's room. You close the door behind you and kneel in front of his figure that's sitting on the edge of the bed in his pajamas with his hair spilling little water droplets on his grey shirt.

You very gently lift his left ankle before wrapping it in a roll of gauze to keep the bone stabilized enough to heal.

"Sorry," you mumble under your breath when feeling his foot twitch.

"It's okay," he replies.

"You're going to be out for about four weeks. In that time, you're not to be on this ankle at all," you say softly.

"When did you become a doctor?"

"I've dealt with my own broken bones and a lot of other people's," you mutter, sticking the tape on the end before lowering his ankle and standing up.

You see his nod before you walk over to the door, but your hand stalls on the cold doorknob.

"Levi?" you ask, voice wavering.

"Yeah?"

A tear escapes your eye and your knuckles turn white from your tight grip with the iron feeling icy cold on your palm.

"Why does everyone we care about die?"

"Come here, (Y/N)," Levi says sternly, but with a commanding sense of softness.

You let go of the knob and walk over to Levi whose arms are open for you. You sit on the bed next to him and wrap your arms around his torso while he holds you close to his body.

"Everyone has to die someday," he whispers.

"But not like this. Not getting eaten by gigantic fucking babies," you reply with tears slipping down your cheeks.

"It's our way of life and we have to accept it."

"No!" You pull away and glare at him. "Don't treat me like one of your soldiers, Levi. That doesn't make me feel better and I know it hurts you more as well. We don't accept the situations we can change. We have to fight harder if we want that change."

Levi casts his eyes down to his lap. You see him grinding his teeth and it's then you realize he's holding back his own tears for you. He always holds back his emotions for everyone else's sake.

"Levi," you whimper, "when I say we have to fight harder, it doesn't mean you're not allowed to be weak sometimes, as long as it helps you grow as a person in the end."

Levi meets your red eyes and you make out the glistening tears in his own. It breaks your heart to see someone so strong, brave and selfless be cracking on the inside yet tries to hold it together.

"I'm trying to fight for everyone and be who they need," Levi admits and reaches up to tuck a strand of hair behind your ear, "especially for you."

"I appreciate it, but I'm not a kid anymore. I can take care of myself just fine, I think I've proven that much," you mumble.

"That doesn't stop me from wanting to protect you."

"I know, but if something happens, I know you'll blame yourself, you always do."

Levi swallows the lump in his throat. "How'd you know that?"

"Levi Ackerman, who do you think you're talking to?" you ask rhetorically. "I know you best, and I also know you get quieter and the bags under your eyes grow darker after every expedition when we lose even one soldier."

"My decisions get people killed. I'm responsible for their death, their families' agony, their-"

You cut him off. "They are asked to die if they're ordered to and every one of them agreed. It was always for a good reason, too."

"What about these past casualties? Gunther, Petra, Eld, Oluo? The mission failed, so what did they die for?" Levi questions with a new thickness to his already deep voice.

"I was there, Levi, remember?" He nods. "I watched them die. In the end, they fought for their comrades, I promise. They were determined to cause the female titan all kinds of suffering and they succeeded. Their deaths weren't wasted if they were fighting for the ones they care for."

The room grows silent with your words hanging in the air. Levi puts his palms to his eyes and rubs away whatever tears gathered there before he meets your gaze again. You wish you could take away the depths of horror and pain you see in him.

"I don't know what I would do without you," Levi suddenly whispers, repeating the exact words you said to him in the forest.

"I think Humanity's Strongest Soldier could manage without me," you say sincerely.

"Don't say stupid shit like that," he growls. "This is what I was talking about before. You always want to prove yourself because you think you're not good enough when you're the best person in this fucked up place."

"You don't mean that-"

"Dammit, can't you see I'm trying to tell you I'm in love with you!?"

...What?

Your mouth drops open and you swear time freezes as you repeat the confession over and over in Levi's voice. It's like your brain is jumbled up because the thing you desperately wanted to happen is coming true and it's almost too good to believe, not to mention under such mournful circumstances.

You see Levi now looking anywhere other than you and you realize he's completely serious. You try to desperately think of something to say and instead impulsively reach over to turn his head toward you and lean in to set your lips upon his.

It's more magnificent than you could have ever imagined--gentle, loving, passionate.

"I'm in love with you too, Levi Ackerman," you breathe.

"Why do you say my name so often?" he mumbles against your lips.

"To remind you that you're not only a Captain or Corporal. You're also you."

Levi pulls you into him and tries to rotate onto the bed to lay down, but lets out a groan instead.

"Let me help you," you say, rising to your feet.

Levi rolls his eyes as you bend down to lift his foot while he scoots back to lay on the mattress. You take one of the pillows and prop his foot onto it to give it leverage. You already know neither of you want to be alone tonight, so you climb into the bed and rest yourself in Levi's waiting embrace.

A/N: Yes, many feels, but I'm telling you now that I'm going to be diverging from the original arc for my own fanfic purposes, so go with it.