Lams oneshots

Coming Out (Part Two)

Breathe. Just breathe.

John could see the house approaching and closed his eyes. Allowing his boyfriend to guide him and placing his legs on automatic, he tried to focus all of his mental energy on positive thoughts.

Holding hands on the way home.

Not having to answer the dreaded "So when are you going to get a girlfriend?"

Going to pride without telling his dad they're going to the movies.

Getting yelled at on the street.

Relatives that are too scared to bring up John's romantic relationships. Relatives that shame him for them.

Never talking to dad again. Dad abusing him.

"Babe?" Alexander's voice seemed to be coming from under water. "John!"

John gasped, pried his eyes open, and ripped his hand away from Alexander's. 
There was an elephant on his chest. Those weren't butterflies in his stomach, they were hornets.

This couldn't be happening.

He couldn't be doing this. There were too many ways this could go bad, the cloud surrounding his head was too dark. His chest was too heavy.

"Focus on your breathing, okay? We don't have to do this today, we can leave. Breathe in until six and out at ten, we'll be okay."

John listened to the muffled voice count until his breathing was even and his surroundings were clear. Slowly, he took them in.

Amiable Alexander, his eyebrows creased in concern and his puppy eyes pleading for John's health. His hair neatly pulled into a ponytail for the occasion, as if Henry hasn't seen his nappy hair a million times. A soft smile on his face to welcome John back to reality.

John's lips curled into a small smile that vanished as quickly as it arrived.

A tan house, three stories, a grand front yard with elegant bushes and neatly trimmed grass. John looked down and traced the initials him and Sally carved in the front porch years ago. Where'd the time go? What will his sister think of him after everything between his dad is said and done?

"When'd we sit down?"

"After your breathing sped up. We don't have to do this, John."

John released a long, shaky breath, "I do, Alexander. I can't hide from him anymore."

"I-I understand." Alex leaned his forehead against John's, "Just know that I love you no matter what happens. With all my heart."

"I love you too, Lex."

After a moment of silence, a forced sound of a throat being cleared was heard from the front door. The open front door.

John slowly looked up. Registering the man before him, he flung himself away from Alexander, hitting his back against a stone pillar, "Dad! H-how long have you been standing there?" Fear shook his voice, the elephant was back.

Henry stayed stoic, his voice monotone as he stood over the two boys, "Long enough."

"I-I can explain! We-we weren't- I'm not-" John frantically scrambled to his feet, his face red and his tongue faltering. Every homophobic thing his father ever said flashed before him. He couldn't breathe. He couldn't bring himself to look at Alexander.

"Calm down, Jonathan."

John clenched his jaw, breathing unevenly through his nose and feeling his entire body shake.

"Come inside. No need to create a scene on the front porch."

John inhaled a long, shaky breath. He couldn't step in that house, there's no telling what would happen in privacy. Despite the knot in his throat, the pain in his chest, and the distinct feeling behind his eyes, John managed to slowly walk towards Alexander.

John took his hand.

"I'm-I'm not going inside with you, dad." he talked slowly, there wasn't enough courage in the world for him to grasp, "It doesn't have to be a scene."

Henry looked to the floor, his body still, the gears in his head turning.

John nearly choked on the tense atmosphere, "I love Alex, dad. And he loves me. It's-it's not a sin."

John's hand tightened around Alexander's, who returned a reassuring squeeze, as Henry remained frozen with a blank stare.

"Well?" John yelled, "Say something! Slam the door in my face if you want, just do (something)!"

Alexander bit his tongue.

"Jonathan," Henry breathed, shaking his head. "I'm so sorry."

The two boys exchanged confused, anxious glares.

"This entire time, I've been- I'll never understand how hard this has been for you." Henry's voice started to waiver, "I've been so blatantly homophobic. Can-can we go inside?"

Alex and John had another wordless conversation, nodded, and cautiously walked into the house together. Henry led the two to the living room and watched as they sat close to each other, their fingers still intertwined.

Moments of silence and gathered thoughts passed before he slowly spoke up, "I'm going to restate my stance on same-sex marriage."

A small gasp escaped John.

Henry continued, "I'm not going to lie, this is going to take some time to get use to. It's strange for me to see, but what kind of man throws his child to the street?"

Alexander wiped a stray tear from his boyfriend's cheek.

Henry took a deep breath, "I love you no matter what, Jonathan, and I'll never be able to make it up to you, all of the hate you had to hear from your own father. But I'm calling an emergency press meeting for this afternoon."

The weight of a thousand words seemed to lift off of John's shoulders as he wiped his face, unaware of when he started crying from the release. "Th-thank you so much!" John pulled his father into a hug, and then yanked Alexander in as well.

Things will be weird for a bit, but he was beyond lucky. His father was willing to change.