Graphite || h.s

Chapter 19

Chapter 19

Four weeks down. Two to go.

The summer had slipped through my fingers and I hadn't even realised. Within the blink of an eye, four weeks had vanished from beneath my feet. Where had they gone?

Harry and myself had barely been apart for any of that time. I didn't even realise how he'd come to mean so much to me in such a short period of time. There was an endless list of things we still needed to do together before I headed off to America.

He still didn't know. What he didn't know couldn't hurt him. I'd become too attached to him to even think about seeing him cry.

I was metaphorically waiting for the plaster to fall off, rather than ripping it off as soon as possible. Slow and steady always won the race.

The dim glow of the laptop illuminated the room from the darkness that hung in the furthest corner. For hours on end I'd been scrolling through Tumblr, desperately killing the hours away.

"Sadie, come on, you need sleep," Mum sighed, resting her dressing-gown-clad arm against the doorframe.

"Nothing would make me happier." I half-laughed, but I was met with a cold response.

"I'm serious."

"I know you are. So am I."

She shook her head slightly. Her arms folded over each other and she slumped against the wall.

"You need sleep." She finally said, taking in a sharp intake of breath.

"I wish it was that simple," I replied.

I hadn't been able to sleep. Endless nights came and went, each one the same as the last. I couldn't close my eyes. Each time I urged myself to relax, my mind would race off at at hours and miles an hour. Switching off was impossible.

"It is. You close your eyes and hey presto," Mum laughed softly, the crinkles by her eyes prominent in the shade.

"Oh haha," I rolled my eyes, closing the lid to the laptop and pushing it under my bed.

"Have you got your flight tickets booked yet?" She asked. The smile she had worn mere seconds ago faded. I knew this would be harder for her than it would be for me. She'd be losing me. She'd be losing the early morning coffees that we shared; the long talks in to the night when neither of us could sleep; the jokes we told that weren't funny but still managed to make us laugh and the company that we gave to each other.

"I booked them yesterday," My voice lost it's usual resonance. I couldn't even look her in the eye because I knew that I'd see what I was doing to her. As much as she tried to comfort me by telling me that this was my dream and that she'd always be behind me, I couldn't believe her words. I couldn't believe them when I knew they were thick with deceit.

"Oh, so I assume you'll be starting to pack soon. Am I right?" She asked, scratching the silk of her dressing gown gently.

"As soon as I can." I replied quietly.

"Oh."

The room fell silent. I chewed my lip anxiously, trying to find something to say. Nothing came to me. There were no words of condolence or reassurance that I could muster.

"I'll find your suitcase, shall I?" Mum suggested. I smiled appreciatively as she scurried around, checking in cupboards and wardrobes.

Minutes later, she returned with a purple pull-along in her hand. After she had carefully placed it against the wall, she turned to leave.

"Night darling."

(A/N) It's starting to get terribly emotional. *sob*