I'm Stupidly In Love With You

Chapter Thirty Four ~ Back In Each Other's Arms

Chapter Thirty Four ~ Back In Each Other’s Arms

“Love is a decision.”

_ _ _ _

Fallon’s POV:

Almost a week …

Almost a week since I’ve decided to finally let Pierre go.  Masakit. Sobra. Pero I’ve been through this. A lot of times. Ilang beses ko na nga ba siyang kinalimutan? Di ko na alam. Paulit ulit na lang. Pierre was like a song to me malaos man di pa rin nakakalimutan.  Yun nga lang ang kinaibahan ngayon somebody else has my heart. I committed myself to him.

Mahal ko si Hervin.

I loved him. And it breaks me to see that he’s hurting too because of me. Wala naman siyang ibang ginawa kundi mahalin ako yet eto pa yung sinusukli ko sakanya.

I can’t afford to lose him. Not now, not ever.

I love Pierre too more than anything. Ever since siya naman talaga ang tanging nagmamayari ng puso ko. Ewan ko ba! Lahi na ata talaga naming ang pagiging martir at masokista. Lagi naman sakit lang ang nakukuha ko mula sa pagmamahal ko sakanya and still I keep on loving him.

Look at my Dad he never loved anyone else but my Mom kahit na iniwan kami ng nanay ko for her career. Still he accepted her nung bumalik siya samin. Siguro nga true love na yung kanila.

Ako kaya?

Tama ba yung ginawa ko?

O mali?

Should I let him go?

Tama ba yung pinili kong tao?

Tama bang saktan ko si Pierre

Of course, tama to I’m in the right track. Si Hervin ang dapat sa akin.  Pierre and I had our time we had our closure. Siguro nga we are never meant for each other kasi palaging ang daming hadlang. Bakit ganun noh? May mga taong sadyang pinaglalapit ng tadhana, palaging nag-aaway but ended up loving each other and yet di naman pala sila yung para sa isa’t isa. Ang unfair lang. They created you and me, there is us but never ours.

I heaved out a sigh.

I’ve got to move on. This is for the best. Maybe in time magiging maayos din ang lahat. Magkakaroon din ako ng happy ending.

Pagbalik ni Hervin I’ll start anew. I‘ve got to free myself from the past and start facing my present and hope for a brighter future.

Tumayo ako mula sa pagkakaupo ko sa couch ko pupunta ko sa garden to get some fresh air isang linggo na din akong nagkukulong dito sa kwarto ko.

At  ng pagkatayo ko feeling ko nabato ako.

Is this real? I saw Hervin standing right in front of me nakasandal siya sa gilid ng pinto ko while he’s arms are crossed.

--- I’ve heard so many words.

But I had no courage.

Now we’re saying goodbye.

Don’t want to miss you, tonight, oh.---

Am I only imagining things? Oh great nabaliw na ata ko. I’m hallucinating. So I closed my eyes and took a deep breath then count on 123 before opening it again.

--- Tell me it’s not over now

I can change your mind somehow ---

Then nasa harap ko na siya ngayon.

--- I, I give it all.

I trip and fall, for you.

And I, hope you wouldn’t mind.

Just one more try,

for something new,

I need you, I need you.  ---

“Am I dreaming?” I asked then he cupped my face and put his lips against mine.

“No, baby I’m here for real.” He whispered in my lips. Napapikit ako sa ginawa niya. I feel the guilt again. Naiiyak na naman ako dahil ngayong nasa harap ko na siya parang tinutusok ang puso ko.

--- Don’t be shocked if I cry

You’ve changed me inside

I turned my back on you

You we’re the only reason I pulled through

I pulled through ---

At dahil dun niyakap ko agad siya and tears start to fall from my eyes. I buried my face in his neck.

--- Tell me it’s not over now

I can change your mind somehow ---

“Hush, babe.” He said to me at naramdaman kong niyakap niya ko and he rubbed my back while continuously kissing the top of my head, that comforting gesture of him that I always loved.

“I-I’m sorry, I-I’m sorry …” paulit ulit kong sabi sa kanya.

--- My head feels so heavy

My heart is so empty ---

Then I felt him lift up my head then he put it in between his hands. He met my blurred eyes because of the tears that won’t stop falling.

He wiped my tears and I keep on mumbling my apologies.

--- I, I give it all.

I trip and fall.

I trip and fall,

I trip and fall. ---

“Ssshhh tama na, and why do you kept on saying sorry? Did you do something---“ I cut him off. I throw myself at him and kissed him senseless.  And as I kiss him my tears kept on falling.

--- I, I give it all.

I trip and fall, for you. (Oh.)

And I hope you wouldn’t mind, (Hope you wouldn’t mind)

Just one more try (Just one more try)

For something new,

I need you,

I need you. ---