- Hogwarts Messenger - (drarry) (COMPLETED)

{ 8- prepare }

{ harry's p.o.v. }

The black door stood in front of Harry, a strong deterrent to his impending doom. His green eyes were set roughly on the doorknob as if it would combust into flames any minute, hopefully saving him from his fate.

Alas, no such thing would happen to Hogwarts, of all places, and he knew that in just under five minutes it would be opened, and the Great Hall would be unleashed for his not-so-apparant pleasure.

Why him? All Harry was left to ponder was why did Headmaster McGonagall choose him to speak in front of all the students, not even a month into the new school year? It wasn't as if they wanted a 'golden boy', as hiss has said. Possibly she wanted him to be a spokesperson for unity, and Harry could justify that especially after his recent realization over text.

She unfortunately hadn't been terribly clear on what he was supposed to do; lately, the new headmaster's words had been getting more scrambled and cryptic, much like her predecessor. Must be the stress of watching over so many magical younglings. Her exact words had been: "I want you to speak..no, talk. Talk with your heart, not mouth... yes, yes, that will work. Harry! You know what you must do, right?" At this point, he had nodded. "Good, good. Very well, then. Next Sunday, bright and early, we are bringing the army down and up again. Shoo, shoo, now."

That was the previous Sunday, a week ago. He hadn't heard much from her recently, but was almost glad about it.

Those words were so arbitrary it nearly seemed genius, with a hint of a message lying between them. He decided to take it for face value and interpret the 'army' part as Dumbledore's Army: taking away the old one and creating anew, this time with all the students.

Harry, unfortunately, was a rather large procrastinator and had done nothing but mull over some simple ideas for the past week, and he sure regretted it now. However, he tended to work best put on the spot, no matter how much it frightened him beforehand. Certainly odd, how anxiety works. It's differeny for everyone-- his was a very fight or flight response, fight being the most common. It had gotten him into many fights, mostly after he had left the Durseleys' and become more gregarious.

He paced around the room, legs growing tired but not a good enough excuse for his far more exhausted mind. These students-- they didn't all like him. Most didn't, in fact. He had not been a hero in the war, nor a rode model. He'd gotten so many of their friends killed... family killed... students killed.

Deep down, he knew that it wasn't all his fault, but that didn't strike him now. He was too rampant with worry that he'd mess up, or that he'd already messed up and everyone despised him already.

These types of thoughts struck him often, though typically not as overwhelming as right now with adrenaline pumping through his veins. There were friends around him, definitely, that would listen to him, but no one to turn to when things got tough mentally. Harry felt so lonely in his mind constantly, and this is what made him so anxious to go up on the stage.

A buzz vibrated from him robe pocket, and he picked it up frantically, hands running over the smooth cold metal. While reading the message, his eyes absentmindedly checked the time and groaned inwardly. Two minutes left.

{
blimeym8: hey, bud. hows it gooi g

griff has entered the chatroom.

griff: 🙃

blimeym8: nervous jitters, ey?

griff: yep. I don't know what to say, and now theres no time left, and everyone will be looking and

blimeym8: shhhh, if there's anything being around so many siblings has taught me, it's stress relievers

blimeym8: try counting down 5 things you can see, 4 things you can touch, 3 things you can hear, 2 things you can smell, and 1 thing you can taste

blimeym8: and just breathe.

griff: okay...

}

Harry set down the phone on a nearby table, ever so thankful for his best friend. Ron wasn't always as intelligent and helpful as Hermione, but he was loyal and always there in times of need.

Glancing around the wooden room, his green eyes picked up on some calming things. A black clock, a smooth brown chair, a teal statue of a phoenix, a pale maroon thick-binded book, and a clear pitcher filled with vibrant lemondrops (no doubt Dumbledore's doing).

Next, four things to touch. His fingers grazed the table he just set the phone on, his soft silken robe, a glass trophy case, and the golden frame of a picture of a hippogriff. These movements were small, but already he could feel relaxed with his mind too preoccupied with this to worry and fret. Them, Harry closed his eyes and listened. He could faintly hear a musical blob of students talking, glasses being clinked down on tables, and a very slight hum of air conditioning. In that air, he could smell this morning's fresh bacon and pumpkin juice. Crisp and delightful smells he relished in for his last peaceful moments.

Finally, he wiggled his tongue around a bit and found the taste of his hasty breakfast this morning, a warm tan roll and just-ripe banana. The kitchen elves had not had everything prepared when he stopped by on the way to this room, so he had easily settled for a couple snacks.

Harry took a deep breath in, and another one out, thanking Ron again. He dared not check his phone again and just sat down, closing his eyes and waiting in comfortable peace until Headmaster McGonagall would undoubtably open the door any moment and ask him to give his speech.

A/N: Hey! I don't do these much, but I wanted to pop in and briefly talk about this chapter.

I liked writing this chapter because I can relate to Harry because I suffer from social anxiety disorder. I really tried to convey social fears without going overboard and making this book about that. Harry doesn't have a disorder/problem/illness or anything, but he does have a social fear of sorts.

The technique Ron shows him is very helpful to me, so I wanted to include that. It's a way of connecting to your surroundings and, to me, having something to focus on when having trouble coping (when I start to have a panic attack).

I hope all the readers enjoy this book, and feel free to leave feedback or constructive criticism! I love you all, and have a great day ~