A New Way

twenty-six | robyn

...im sorry, what can I do to fix this?
..baby please answer the phone.
...i never meant to hurt you Robyn.
..i love you and our unborn child. Why would I intentionally try to hurt you both?

             The voicemails and messages went on and on for days going on weeks. He was calling me and texting non stop, and it was not easy to screen his calls every single time. I had eventually blocked his number. I missed him, but I just needed sometime for myself and my baby. It's been a month going on a few days since I came back here. I knew that what I was doing was selfish of me but I couldn't stay down there. I was falling apart day by day. He hurt me which I would have never thought he would do. What made him go to her house? I don't know if what he said was true. Did she actually drug him up into sleeping with her? Like who does that, I would be even more afraid if I had this baby and she was around, knowing that she would do anything to get her man back.

"Robyn!" my mom yelled downstairs. I sighed and slid off the bed putting on my slippers. I walked downstairs spotting her on the couch holding a small brown, wooden box. Her eyes were blood shot red and glossy.

"Come and sit baby." I walked to where she was sitting and sat at the end of the couch, not really prepared for what she was saying, knowing that it wasn't going to be good news.

"Do you remember what I told you, about your father being out so long because of work?" I nodded my head unsure of what that had to do with anything.

"I know you're pregnant and I don't want you to stress, for you and the baby, but I couldn't keep this away from you knowing that every time I look at you you remind me of your father and it makes me cry everyday knowing he's not here anymore." she spoke, tears streaming down her cheeks

"Mom don't cry, he'll be back," I laughed knowing she exaggerates and cries over everything
"Now stop crying." I smiled

"No baby, you're f-father is gone, a-and he's not coming back," she handed me the wooden box, and I looked at her confused
"Mom what are you talking about?"
She took a deep breath
"Robyn baby, your father died in a car accident while heading to work, I tried to get a hold of you but i couldn't reach you,"

"I even sent people out there to look for you but we came up with nothing."

It was like everything was going in slow motion. How could she keep this from me so long. Well it was my fault, and I know she was only looking out for me. I felt so selfish and disgusted with myself. I've been through so much and this had to happen.

"S-so what's t-this." I said slightly lifting up the box and putting it back down

"That's your fathers ashes." My vision became blurry

"There's a little necklace in there for you." I opened the box touching the necklace. I had to admit it was beautiful. It was a silver necklace with a clear diamond hanging from it. It had a little locket attached to it. I picked it up, handing it to my mom. I turned around, pulling my hair into a ponytail, feeling the cold item going around my neck, and the light sound of a clip, letting me know that it was attached. I got up from where i was standing and walked to the mirror attached to the wall in the hallway. It was beautiful.

Later on that night, I cried till I fell asleep. I cried for all the pain Andre caused me. I cried for the hurt and betrayel Matthew caused. And i cried for the loss of my father.

                 Its been a month and a couple of days since Robyn left, but it felt like years. Ive just been lounging around, making the place a mess. The house smelt like dirty feet and rotten food. I haven't slept not once not knowing if they were okay, not knowing where they were. I haven't ate, nor drank anything but every alcohol bottle in my cupboard.

The house was dark with a pinch of light due to the curtains and the sun peaking through them. That's how Matthews been laying around ever since Robyn left. Beer cans, broken alcohol bottles, dirty clothes filled up the floor. He was lucky enough that rats nor roaches ever existed in his home.
Matthew heard a knock at the door. He was so not in the state to see anybody. His eyes were bloodshot red, and there were large bags under his eyes from not sleeping for so many days. He stunk so bad that he couldn't even stand the scent of him self. Another knock came upon the door. He ignored it. Then another, then another. He slowly opened his eyes, letting them adjust to the little pinch of light from the curtains. He sat up and stretched, and winced. He slowly got up from the spot he was, only in his boxer briefs, not caring what he looked like. He carefully walked to the front door making sure he didn't step on any broken glass from the 2 weeks before when he became outraged breaking anything and everything in his path. He unlocked the door and turned the doorknob. There stood his long lost best friend Andre.