A New Way

twenty-eight | robyn

"So I was thinking maybe I can start working at the mall you know, just to collect some money for when the baby comes."

"No, I already told you about stressing yourself out, you barely be letting me sleep at night with all that cryin' you be doing about that triflin' ass boy, im not letting you lose this baby Rob, I already lost ya' father, i am not about to lose my grand baby nor potentially lose my only child." my mother replied

"Okay fine, it was just a suggestion, geez."

"Suggestion my ass, it was a suggestion to leave me and ya father to go to New York with that bum, and we told you not to leave and ya fast ass left anyway, you know ya ass neva' listen, you gone learn one day."

"Okay mom, whatever." I said rolling my eyes and making my way out the kitchen and into the living room.

I sat on the couch in front of the television, changing the channel until the news popped up on the screen. The subtitle read,

B-town shooting: 4 adults, 1 child shot outside home.

B-town wasn't too far from Miami, according to where I lived.

"I swear these kids out here so reckless, just a bunch of wanna be thugs, always gotta' use they trigga' fingers instead of using they fists." my mom said shaking her head. Truly it was sad. There was never at least a week that went by and you wouldn't hear something happening around the area. Not even a second going by, my mind switched subjects and Matthew was the next thing that popped up in my head. There wasn't a day that passed by that I wouldn't think of him. Although my emotions were more settle, and all the crying I used to do was done, I still just laid on my bed thinking about him.

"What you thinking about?" the voice startled me, making me jump a little and hold my chest.

"Oh i-i was just thinking about the baby and what I was going to name her."

"Lyin' ass, I know you thinking about fine white chocolate." she said with a smug in her face followed my a slight smirk. Every time I was with my mom, Matthew always popped up in the conversation. I showed her pictures of him on my phone to. I think she fell more in love with him than I did, it was like love at first sight for her.

"Whatever." I retorted laughing along with her. I got up from the chair and headed upstairs. I went into my room and sat on the bed. Contemplating if I should call him or not. After what he did I was supposed hate him, despise him, but I couldn't. I was too in love with him, and stupid for even thinking about calling him.

Uggggghhhhh why did this shit have to happen to me?

If it wasn't one thing, it was another. My life was a roller coaster that just wouldn't stop. Deciding not to call him, I got up off the bed and walked into my closet. Picking out some black leggings, an off the shoulder knitted sweater that covered my protruding belly, and my furry slides. I put the outfit on and headed downstairs into the kitchen.

"Ma, I'm going to the store right quick!"

"Alright be careful!" I took the key from the hook and walked outside and into my moms 2016 Honda Civic.

I was going to the mall to go shopping, but also to look for a job. I needed something to get my mind off of him. Staying cooped up in the house all day just made it worse.

I reached the mall, got out the car and made it inside. The first store I went to was Forever 21. I looked through some clothes till I found 3 cute shirts, 2 jackets, and a pair of short denim jeans cut to the rear. I made it to the checkout before anyone else could. When she was finished ringing up my items I pulled out my card to pay. I was really hoping it didn't decline on my ass. When she swiped it and it said accepted on the credit card machine screen, I blew out the breath I was holding.