A New Way

robyn | one

My mother always said that everything that happens in life is Gods way of leading you to your blessings. That the suffering will come to an end and greater, and better things will be recieved. But why would God want me to suffer? If he loved me so much wouldn't he just fill my life with happiness and blessings without making me suffer? Every thing my mother said was a lie. I've been suffering for a long time now, but where's my blessings? Where is my great and better things? No where to be found.

Sitting on my couch drinking my life away. Wanting to take my life away but never having the guts to do so. Just thinking how my life would be if i never met Andre. Just saying his name made me want to cry. If i never met him, i bet my 26 year old ass would be living the life. Married to a handsome and faithful man, with 2 or 3 beautiful kids by our side. Two cars and a beautiful spacious home. Didn't matter if it was one or two story. I smiled at the thought but then frowned, remembering in what predicament i was in. Hearing the door jiggle and the clanging of the keys on the other side, i jumped up and raced into the bed room, ripping off my clothes knowing what he would want when he came in. Hearing the front door open then shut, i jumped in the bed covering my self from head to toe with the comforter praying that today he wouldn't be in the mood for a "taste" or to pummel me.

"Robyn!" he yelled out knowing damn well i was in the house. I was always in the house, just locked away like some damn prisoner or an animal. Unable to go outside which i was practically used to by now. Being unable to use any electronics as in my phone which was way down in the ocean somewhere, computer which was locked with a password. Basically i wasn't allowed to use or do shit.

"Robyn!" he yelled out louder. I kept quiet pretending i was asleep. Then i heard footsteps coming toward the closed bed room door. Then the sound of the door stretching open then close. Sounds of his footsteps walking up to the bed made my heart pound louder and faster against my chest. I was sure he could hear it. Suddenly my body felt cold, then the touch of burning fire came upon my skin. It burned. Letting it travel up and down my back, to my legs then back up and stopping on my bottom. Feeling my pink laced thong being peeled of my body, i felt tears well up in my eyes, i knew what would have come next. The sound of his belt unbuckling could be heard in the silent room. The shuffling of his clothes and the light thud when it hit the ground, letting me know that he was now fully naked ready to take me however he pleased with no repulse. Feeling his body warmth hovering over me , i let out a soft sigh only for me to hear. The stretching of my cheeks, being filled with his manhood made me gasp in pain.

"Ahh baby you feel so good." he groaned. Roughly pushing in and out of me for his own pleasure. Allowing him to flip me over and pushing himself inside my opening, i finally let the tears fall. Ripping my matching laced pink bra off of me, my nipples instantly harden. He roughly grasped them with his rough hands, playing with them as if it was to feel good to me.

"Andre." i wept, finally making my voice be heard

"Yes, baby say my name." he groaned out

"Andre stop you're h-hurting me."

"Baby no, it feels good." he said "You know you like it." he said lifting his head up from the crooke of my neck, then staring at my tear stained face. Then all of a sudden his face changed and i knew then that i was in some deep shit. It happened so fast. The instant throb of my cheek and the blood trickling down my lip. Taking a grasp of my hair, dragging me to the kitchen.

"What the fuck you crying for bitch!" he yelled spitting on my face, "Didn't i tell you, i never want to see that shit!" he started punching and kicking until eveything became cloudy.

Hoping that when i closed my eyes i would never wake up. So much for that prayer i thought before everything went black.