A New Way

robyn | eighteen

2 Months Later....

No, no, no ,no ,no this can't be happening. 3 sticks all with the same dreading sign +. I couldn't believe that I let myself go this far. I wasn't ready to be a mother. I was definitely not ready to raise a child. My future was supposed to be perfect. I was supposed to have my life in order, get married, and then have kids. I was terrified and frustrated. How would Matthew react? What would he say? Was all the questions that popped in my head. I sat infront of the door balling my eyes out quietly. The last thing I wanted to do was awake Matthew from his sleep, especially when I had the tests disposed in the garbage where you could still see them.

Flashback....

"Thank you for today, I really appreciate it." I said looking up to Matthew

"No problem baby." He said before pecking my lips. We had just came out of the movie theaters. We decided to watch Straight Out of Compton, since we heard so much good things about it. (It's a good movie by the way) We headed to the car, him walking infront of me to open my door. I slid in while he reached over and put on my seatbelt for me buckling me in. He closed my door jogging over to his side and slid inside. In about 15 minutes we reached the house, I got out before he had the chance to open the door for me, and walked to the front door waiting for his arrival.

"You hungry?"

"No I'm just tired, I'm gonna go take a shower." I said. I walked up the stairs heading into my room stripping off my clothes until I was bare like the day I was born. I grabbed my towel and wash cloth and headed to the bathroom. After I took a shower I went into my room, only to see Matthew sitting on the edge of the bed.

"What are you doing in my room"?

"What? I can't be in your room?" He said standing up striding towards me.

"I didn't say that, it's just I just took a shower and I would like to loath myself with my cocoa butter lotion aloooone."

"I can do it for you." He said. His voice deeper than usual while his eyes turned a darker shade of his original eye color. Was that......lust I see? The sexiness was radiating off of him and I cursed my self for not clothing in the bathroom.

"I have hands Matthew I could do it by myself you know." I scoffed

"I know." He was right in front of me, no space between us. He leant down capturing my lips with his moving in sync. Sucking on my bottom lip, he picked me up wrapping my legs around his waist. I was beyond moist and with no barrier I thought I would leak. He placed me on the bed, planting small kisses on my shoulders and upper breasts. He bit and sucked leaving his marks around my neck, he slowly unwrapped the towel around my body leaving me cold and bare.

"You have a beautiful body." All I could do was blush. He left his markings all over my body.

"I wanna show you something." He pierced my eyes, capturing my lips again before wrapping the towel back around me and lifting me up bridal style. He lead me into his room and what I saw brought unshed tears to my eyes. There were lit candles, and red and white pedals all over the floor. I looked over to the bed finding the red roses in the shape of a big heart and in the middle of the heart was white chocolate and diced pineapples. My two favorite things to eat.

"Matthew.....you did all this....for me?"

"Yea I mean who else would I have done it for." He said scratching the back of his head barley looking at me. Oh my gosh he was nervous.

"Awwhhh M&M, I love it you don't have to be nervous." I said walking over to him,wrapping my arms around his neck

"Are you sure you like it, I mean I-"

"Shhhh I love it baby." I said looking in his eyes. He led me to the bed and that night he made love to me. Right after, I fell asleep but not before hearing him say "I love you."

A few minutes, still on the floor, I heard the bed creak. I instantly got up looking in the mirror but quickly cringed when I saw the red and puffiness of my face.

Two knocks sounded at the bathroom door before I replied yes trying to sound more presentable through the closed door.

"Baby, you alright in there?" Concern evident in his voice which made me slightly smile

"Yea..um I'm fine...I'll be out in a minute, just go back to bed."

"Okay, just making sure you was okay."

"I know baby, just go back to bed."

"Okay, I love you."

"I know baby." I knew that I was hurting him by not saying those three words he's been longing to hear about a month ago. I knew I loved him but I just couldn't bring myself to say those words. Those words didn't mean anything last time I checked.

I washed my face, patting it dry with my facial cloth. I bent down to tie up the handles of the garbage bag. I opened the door but not before looking around the bathroom to make sure everything was in check.

If only she took a better look, and checked every where carefully, then she would see one of the pregnancy sticks on the floor behind the toilet.

Just wanted to update a little chapter even though it sucked. But please still vote and comment.