What Am I To You

Chapter 11

My mom let me stay at home the next day as well but then on Thursday she forced me to go to school. "No more hiding in your room Yoona, you have to go out and face the world." was what she said but to be honest I didn't want to face the world and school. I wasn't ready yet as I was still broken and my heart was hurting but I don't know if I will ever be ready so I decided to attend class. I couldn't let my grades drop too low or else SM Entertainment wouldn't accept me so I put on my uniform, a hat and some sunglasses, grabbed my bag and left for the hallways that I now dreaded. Luckily Eunsol was waiting for me outside so I didn't have to walk in alone and randomly bump into 'him'. I mean I have to see him today and his gang because they are all in my class but I am going to pretend like they don't exist and just focus on my lessons.

"Aigoo, you look like some badass girl." Eunsol giggled as she saw me.

"Shut up okay." I punched her slightly in the arm "I really don't want to be here but my mom is forcing me and it doesn't say anywhere in the rule book that sunglasses aren't allowed"

"Yah, yah you just think that those glasses will make it harder to see 'him' but I hate to break it to you that you are going to have to take them off in class." She was still giggling. I'm sure I looked kind of funny but not that hilarious. 

"Let's just get going." I said and dragged her by the arm. 

We walked into class and just as I thought would happen, all eyes turned on me. I was the spotlight because I am sure that the whole school knew by now what had happened. I also hadn't been at school for two days which had confirmed all of the whispering and gossip. I walked to my seat and sat down. 

Just as I was unpacking my books the door opened and everyones eyes once again turned to the person standing halfway in the room. Or should I say people as there were six more behind him. The person at the door was Taehyung and he was looking at me as if I was some unknown creature he had never seen before. Jeez what is with this guy. We 'dated' and now we're just normal single people again. He doesn't have to stand like an idiot. I averted my eyes so that I didn't have to look at him as he and the rest of his gang took their seats. They were all whispering and looking in my direction but I just ignored them. Luckily the teacher walked in shortly after and my thoughts became drowned in the class work.

Afterwards we had a small break so I went into the corridor to get some fresh air with Eunsol. I was leaning out of the window looking out into the city when I felt someone tap my shoulder. I turned around and saw that it was Jimin. He didn't have his usual smile on his face and stood fiddling with his hands.

"Yoona please just think about talking with Tae. I know that you read my text and I wasn't expecting you to reply but I just hope that you believe what I told you. Please just talk to him. He wants to explain everything if you give him a chance." Jimin pleaded

"I thought I made it clear that you should all stay away from her." Eunsol stepped in and in front of me protectively. "Just leave her alone. Stop breaking her heart even more." She grabbed my arm, spun around and started walking down the corridor.

"Yoona please." This time is was Taehyung's voice. I turned around and saw him standing behind Jimin. His knees dropped on the floor and he buried his head in his hands. That's all I saw as we rounded a corned and he went out of sight. 

.  .  .

I continued to ignore Tae for another week at school. I ignored his friends as well because after all they had known about the bet and had thought of it together. Jimin was still being very persistent and tried to talk to me and now he got Hoseok to join him. I would pretend not to hear them but I must admit that I did notice a change in Taehyung. He really seemed sad. His shoulders were down and he did not have his usual light spring in his step as he used to. Maybe he really was grieving just as much as I was. No that's not possible, he's the one who caused me all this pain. He should be laughing right now. But why does he look so sad. There were no more stars in his eyes. There was nothing there as if they died out. And then Jimin and my mom's words rang in my ears "He still loves you Yoona. Taehyung never cries but he cried for you.", "Forgiveness is the final form of love."

Could it be that what Jimin had texted me was actually true and that Tae had been all depressed. I guess I could slightly see it but I didn't really want to believe it. "Forgiveness is the final form of love." I couldn't get these words out of my head and then all of a sudden all of the memories came flooding back. The first time that he talked to me, the first time he walked me home and carried my bag, our first kiss. Everything we had been through just suddenly washed over me like a giant wave and I felt tears streaming down my cheeks. This couldn't be the end. After all that we had been through this couldn't be how things would continue on, us just ignoring each other and pretending like we never loved one another. No I still love him and I will believe that he still loves me. And...and....I want to forgive him. I want to forgive him because I want him back, I need him, I love him and because I will believe that forgiveness is the final form of love.